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Chapter Eight
Ryder
Once the strongest orgasm of my life has subsided, regret swallows me whole.
What the fuck have I done?
What happened to duty, honor, and everything I’ve lived by my entire life?I close my jeans, searing the scene before me into my brain so I can cherish it forever. I’ll never forget how Charity looked as she came apart on my mouth—most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I grab a clean washcloth from the kitchen and run some warm water before carrying it back to Charity. She blushes bright red as I gently clean her up, and guilt eats at me again.
“I’m sorry. I . . . lost my head,” I say hoarsely.
“Why are you apologizing?’ she asks, sitting up on the edge of the sofa and adjusting her clothes.
I sigh. “You know why.”
She stands, zipping her jeans and placing her hands on her hips.“If I didn’t want it to happen, I would have said so, Ryder. I’m not a little girl anymore. I wish you could see that.”
Her voice is sad, and knowing I’m responsible for that sadness kills me. Idosee it. Every damned day. And I have no fucking idea what to do about it.
“We should get going. I’ll grab my coat,” she says quietly when the silence stretches.
She turns and leaves the room, taking the light with her. Emptiness swallows me. I rake a hand through my hair, overwhelmed by a jumble of conflicting emotions. I’ll never regret what Charity and I just shared, but I don’t know what comes next. Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same fucked up guy I was before I put my mouth and hands on her soft curves.
Loyalty is everything between brothers in arms, and if there’s one thing I learned from my days as a SEAL, it’s to assess all risks.And I can’t risk ruining our lives when I can’t give her a whole man.I left pieces of myself behind on that last deployment.
She has more reason than anyone to grieve Luke. I know she misses him every day, but she’s moving on with her life. Luke would be proud of her. Would he feel the same way about me?
* * *
I barely see Charity over the next few days—I know she’s busy with the movie, and I’ve been burying myself in work. Even though I’m in L.A. I still have to manage other team members on security jobs back in Vermont, where my business is based.
The garage calls to say they’ve replaced the starting motor on Charity’s car, and I arrange for them to drop it at the studio lot later today so she has it to drive home.
Despite the movie being kept low-profile, manic fans still try to get to Scarlett and Kane, and I’ve had to escort one fan from the premises who was taking selfies outside Kane’s trailer. They were on social media within seconds, and Julianna, the studio owner, was livid. Understandably.
I’ve been distracted. The sweet memory of Charity coming apart for me the other morning is on repeat in my head and has kept me awake at night.
But I’m here to do a job. My company has a reputation to uphold. Since the incident with the trespassing fan, I’ve kept things professional with Charity because when it comes to her, something happens to my brain, and it ceases to function rationally. Probably a lack of oxygen because my blood supply insists on filling my cock instead of circulating to the rest of my body whenever I’m around her.
Despite the few bumps, the filming of the movie remains on schedule. Although, an unusual amount of people seem to be getting up close and personal on this movie—Luca, the director, and Audrey in hair and makeup. Max, the set medic, and Andrew, Kane’s body double. And then there’s Kane and Scarlett—definitely sparks flying between the two lead actors, and rumors are rampant that they have a history.
When I arrive at the studio on the penultimate day of filming, I can’t help checking the security feed to see where Charity is, as I do every morning.
It doesn’t take long to find her, nose deep in a brief as she twists a lock of hair around her index finger.It’s a habit she’s had since she was a kid.
I never saw her as anything but Luke’s kid sister until the day she graduated high school. I was so fucking proud of her that day. She had a tougher time than most with her dyslexia, but she never let it hold her back.
It was a bittersweet day, almost a year after Luke’s death. I was in the audience with Charity’s parents. I’ll never forget the mixture of joy and sorrow on her face as she climbed the stage to receive her diploma—joy at her achievement and sorrow that Luke wasn’t there to share it with her. Once all the diplomas were handed out, she flew toward me and threw herself into my arms, wrapping herself around me. That’s the moment I realized my feelings for her were far from platonic. It’s also when the guilt started, and I’ve been fighting the attraction ever since.
Until I kissed her under the mistletoe.
And ate her sweet pussy like a ravenous animal before marking her with my cum.
Yeah, definitely crossed a few lines there.
I scrub a hand through my hair. I need some fresh air. Leaving the office, I head off to make a perimeter check, first inside and then outside. Once I’m done, I review last night's surveillance, checking for anything untoward.
