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I sit at the bar near where we hold Quinate meetings. I’m not ready to go. Not ready to see his smug oh, so serious face.
Maybe I should end it all. Kill him and let them do their worst. I don’t have family.
There are my people, but…
No, even for me causing that mayhem and destruction’s a no go. The Quinate will wipe them all out. The laws are the same for all of us. To stop us doing what I’m seriously contemplating.
I should have fucking killed Hendrick when I killed his father, that’s what I should have done.
But I was lost to anger and grief for Lili.
I wasn’t fucking thinking.
I am now.
I guess it’s just making his life miserable until he makes that move so I can retaliate without retribution.
Will MG want me then?
Do I even fucking care?
I don’t examine that too closely because I think that answer’s something that’s going to bother me, right down to the depths of my soul.
My phone lights up, but it’s not MG.
Where the fuck are you?
Maximo.
I text him back.I’ll be there. Tell dickwad to calm the fuck down.
He hasn’t said a word,says Maximo.But he’s been here for ages. I got here early, and Hendrick was already here. Declan just arrived. You’re late.
I’ll be there.
I turn my phone face down.
Of course Hendrick’s there. I know this is an important meeting, and I know he’s pissed I chose fucking MG over the other drinks meeting we had. But I’ll take her cunt and mouth and ass over that lot any day.
Do I miss her? I down my drink and get another. There’s an emptiness in me, something I can’t fill, and it kind of feels like there’s a piece gone. When she’s there, I don’t notice it.
Maybe it’s about the necklace. Because this is me, Jac fucking Miller. I can have any woman. I can have a roomful of them if I wanted, if I was into them. I just don’t happen to want that, because—
Fuck it.
I want MG.
Her scent, the warmth, her voice, her everything.
But want’s different from missing. I don’t do missing. I don’t think I’ve missed anyone except my mom and Lili. And Mom’s faded. Lili hasn’t. But this isn’t like that. Missing Lili is missing my sister, my purpose, her future. It’s the reminder of my failure.
I down my second drink and head to the meeting. They’re going to vote connections with Kincaid out. If any of us want to deal with him, it’s not with Quinate backing. And I’m for that. The guy’s vile slime.
But I might need to piss Hendrick off. Act like I want him in.
When I push open the door, the others are talking and Hendrick’s sitting, coat off, all serious and quiet, working.
He’s got an iPad, phone, and notebook, and he’s using them all. I fucking hate him.
