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“What’s worse is he showed far more restraint than you would understand,” Eleanor said through sobs. “He had so many opportunities, and he ignored them all. Until we couldn’t ignore our feelings anymore.
“He wanted to walk away that first night, you know? He cared about you so much he wanted to leave. I convinced him that we were doing nothing wrong. That was on me. If you’re gonna hate anyone, hate me.”
She’d never seen so much emotion on her brother’s face before, and she almost felt bad for him. “Why are you telling me all this? Why are you here now?”
Eleanor smiled through her tears. “I’m going away, Xander. I’m pregnant with Blake’s child. I thought he’d be excited when he found out, but he just took off running. I guess it really was just the sex for him, after all. Anyway, I’ve decided to go away for a while, clear my head, make up my mind about what’s next. Thought you deserved to know.”
She saw fear in Xander’s eyes. He threw a quick glance at her belly, then back to her face. “You’re sure?”
“I can’t stay here anymore,” she admitted. “There’s nothing more for me here. I spoke to Carla, and she said I could stay with her for a while. I’ll let you know what I decide in a few weeks. For now, I just need to get away.”
Xander was nodding, but Eleanor could see emotion in his eyes. She wasn’t ready for the hug he gave her. At first she flinched, but then she relaxed and held him tight, her tears soaking into his shirt.
“I’m so sorry, Eleanor.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve always been the best. I promise, I’ll be fine.” She had no idea how accurate that statement was, but she hoped it was true. That was all she could do, really.
She had no idea how long they hugged each other, but neither of them seemed willing to let go. This was going to be the last time they would see each other in a very long time, Eleanor knew. She had an idea that Xander knew so too.
“How long do you plan to be gone for?” Xander asked, and the pained look in his eyes broke Eleanor’s heart.
“A while,” she admitted. “I’m at Silver Springs for a bit, but I plan to head to Europe. Somewhere near the ocean. Somewhere quiet, beautiful. I don’t know yet, Xander. I don’t know anything.”
He nodded thoughtfully and squeezed her hand. “I can’t start to pretend to understand, but I think I do. But know this. You’re not alone. You will always have a pack and family to come back to.”
“I know this, Xander. I promise, I won’t be gone forever.”
He smiled, a warm, beautiful thing. “Good. ‘Cause this cub is going to need his Uncle Xander.” His expression grew serious. “I mean it, Eleanor. You can always come back. Don’t raise your child alone.”
Eleanor rubbed her belly again unconsciously, then wiped painful tears from her eyes. She opened her arms and Xander gathered her again. Her tears soaked into his shirt and he pressed her closer.
She didn’t know how long the moment lasted. A few seconds, a few minutes, a few hours. An eternity. She didn’t know. And she didn’t care.
There were no words that could have been adequate to describe how she was feeling. There was no way to properly describe the moment she shared with Xander. So, she stayed in his arms, and he held her tight, not knowing when they would share such a moment as precious as this again.
Xander walked Eleanor to her car and they looked at the house for a long time. The silence stretched between them but it was a beautiful silence. The silence wasn’t empty, but what was filled with a million things left unsaid.
“You really should consider remodeling,” she said finally, sniffling and laughing at the same time.
Xander smiled and held the door open for her. “Don’t hold your breath, but I promise to think about it.”
The sun was setting behind the mountains when Eleanor finally found the courage to leave. She managed to keep her composure till she got to the sign that said ‘Goodbye from Deepwood Town.’
Alone on the road, driving at sixty miles an hour, she broke her composure and cried. She wept for the baby in her womb, for the family she was leaving, and worst of all, for the love she had lost. She cried the most for Blake, and she didn’t know how to stop.
Chapter 22 - Blake
Blake pulled into the driveway and slammed the door of his truck shut. It swung back open and he tried a few more times before giving up on it completely. He didn’t have time for this.
He walked and ran at the same time up the driveway and into the house. Eleanor was not in the living room. He didn’t find her in the kitchen either.
With his heart beating, he pounded up the stairs, taking them three steps at a time. At the top of the stairs, he took a moment to compose himself. He took a deep breath and tried to straighten his messy clothes.
The house was strangely quiet. While it was always quiet, the silence was unusual. Blake could smell Eleanor everywhere, though, her presence was like a mist, covering every inch of the house.
He tried to work through his words as he walked to her room at the end of the hallway. Everything he came up with sounded eager at best, and inadequate at worst.
How could he explain how stupid he had been? Would she even bother to listen to him? He wasn’t sure, but he needed to try. His friends were right. He’d never been with a woman like Eleanor before.
