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“It’s nothing, not really, but I was going to point out a familiar face at the funeral but he left afterward. I don’t know him but saw him a couple weeks ago at the New York office. He was allowed through the gates with a name I’m unfamiliar with. It’s just odd but I can’t shake this weird feeling.”
“And he didn’t come to the house for the reception?” I ask.
“Nah. Weird, right? Who knows, it’s most likely a media mogul who was able to gain passage. Oh, well.” He’s quiet a beat longer. “It’s still freezing like a frozen fucking tundra outside. Surely, you’re unable to work the land.” He changes the subject from the stranger at the funeral. And I throw back my head to let out a loud cackle that startles him. With his own chuckle, he’s amused by my reaction.
“Ah, Xan baby, a farmer’s job is never done, and because JJ recruits anyone and everyone, you’ll be put to work, too,” I warn, though he’s offered the help, stating he knows what hard work is, even the kind that includes manual labor.
My brother walks from the barn, waving at me and I drive past just enough to be out of his spying eyes. My mother with her wonderful timing comes out and greets us. “Look at you, honey.” She’s speaking to Xan as she brings him into a hug. “Come hang out with me while I cook breakfast since the first one is now cold.” She throws her stink eye at me and ushers Xan toward the house. “Thirty minutes, boys. And don’t be late.”
“Shit, little brother. Ma acts as if it’s my fault you’re almost two hours late,” he chides, jutting his head toward our large red barn. “Come on, lover boy, I guess we’ll talk while working on the tractor.”
I’m positive he figured it out before he left the Lynol house yesterday, but it was just a hunch because my ma wouldn’t out me, even if it’s to my brother.
“Sorry, JJ. I wasn’t trying to keep this from you. I hadn’t known what we were before yesterday. Before last night…”
He cuts me off. “Oh, please spare me the particulars, little brother.”
“I wasn’t going to get specific. I thought when we were trapped in the cabin that it was because he saved my life, and I was emotional. I was mad, at myself, and at him for making my life hell for so long. But then I got to see the real Xander Lynol, the side he hides from almost everyone. And the stories he told of his father, I would think he had to be lying because no parent can be that cruel to their child, if not for some of the things Ma shared with Dad after they thought I was in bed, I’d have a hard time comprehending it all, but it didn’t compare. He was horrible and now he’s torn, knowing he should mourn his father but then feels bad that he can’t.”
My brother is standing by the tractor but neither one of us is tinkering with the green beast, and his eyes widen as he shakes his head. “Fuck, I assumed it was sex, but you’ve fallen for the guy. I mean, you really care for him.”
I won’t deny it, but I don’t have to verbally confirm it either, and he only gets a shrug of my shoulders.
“Well, holy shit. But, what will happen? Ma will kick your ass from here to Sunday if you move back to Minnesota, even if it means being with the person you love.”
“We haven’t discussed it. He has the reading of the will tomorrow. It’s just an assumption that Xan will get the company. Lyle promised Liz he’d leave it to Xan. Their international office is out of New York, but I’m not sure what his day-to-day schedule will be like. I guess I’m just taking it one day at a time. I know I don’t want anyone else, nor am I ready to come out.”
“Does Jen know?”
“About Xan, no. About me being bisexual, yes.”
I wonder if JJ is butt hurt that I never shared this part of my life with him. “Well, I’m happy for you, and truth be told, I always liked Xander. But, he didn’t try to makemylife a living hell, though you gave as good as he did.”
“Yes, I think I’ve been told this a time or two.” I laugh as I take a gander at my watch. “Well, we better get in there or this time you’ll be on Ma’s shit list, too.”
His face creases into a smile, and we both walk to the house, and I know I love Xan when the twenty minutes we’ve been away from each other seems too long.
* * *
“You looksexy in a pair of jeans and a flannel, Lynol,” I tease, baling hay as Xan helps me.
“I can hear you guys,” my brother calls from inside the barn. “The walls are thin and I don’t need nightmares, you assholes.”
“Then you don’t want me telling you all the ways I’m going to take your brother tonight!” Xan yells back, not missing a chance to rib him.
“Oh, fuck, now I’m never going to sleep again or I’ll really have nightmares. Thanks, Lynol!” JJ hollers. “I’m going back to the house for a break from you two.”
Xan tosses down his rake and stalks toward me. “I think we need a break, too, farm boy.” He’s on me in less than a second, pulling my flannel until I’m flush with his body. “I could use a little bit of you right now.”
Why am I so obsessed with this man? I can’t seem to get enough of him. I interlace his fingers with mine and pull him toward the loft of the barn. I have to let go of him as we climb a ladder but as soon as he’s at the top, I tug him back to an upstairs office. Inside sits a couple wooden chairs and an old desk.
His body is back on mine when we cross the threshold. “I’m obsessed with you, farm boy.”
“I was just thinking the same thing, baby,” I admit.
“I’m going to make you come, Farmer, because I need something for lube.” He falls to his knees and makes quick work of my buckle, belt, and zipper, pushing my bottoms down and taking my cock in his hands. His mouth engulfs me, and it’s impossible not to come.
“It’s okay to come quickly, baby. The quicker you come the quicker I’m in your ass.” And those are the words that undo me, and as he fondles my balls, I lose it.
