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Another content sight leaves her when I help her under the covers and she snuggles up to her pillow. She huffs as her hair falls in her face so I snatch up a stray scrunchie sitting on her bedside table and pull her hair back in a sorry excuse for a bun. That lazy smile returns as she reaches out to pat my hand softly. “Thank you.”
“That's okay.”
A frown creases her face as she reaches up and tugs on a strand of my hair, confirming that maybe I'm not the only one with wandering hands. “You didn't cut your hair.”
The almost bewildered expression on her face makes me smile. “Did you want me to cut my hair?”
She scrunches up her nose in distaste. “No. Never.”
“Okay.” A laugh tickles my throat. “I won't.”
My answer must please her because she drops her hand, still smiling as her eyes drift shut. I wait a minute before carefully getting up to leave, making sure the water and painkillers are easily accessible.
I've one foot out the door when her quiet, sleepy voice stops me.
“Where're you going?”
I stop in my tracks, turning around slowly. Propped up on one elbow, she's staring at me, looking the epitome of confusion. Like she can't possibly understand why I'm leaving. “I gotta go home, sweetheart.”
Her frown deepens. “Can you stay for a bit?” Even in her drunken state, she must notice the hesitation on my face. “I don't like sleeping alone.”
And if that doesn't just crack my chest wide open.
I can't say no. I physically am incapable of saying no. When it comes to her, I always have been.
I'll just stay until she falls asleep,I reason with myself as I walk towards her again, shoving off my jacket and toeing off my shoes.
She asked me to stay. I'd be a dick to say no.
If Amelia or Kate asked, I'd do it for them.
Someone has to make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit.
Those are the reasons I convince myself are true as I settle on the bed beside her, almost hanging off the edge in an effort not to touch her.
I'm just being a good friend.
41
JACKSON
I fucked up.
I don’t mean to stay.
I fully intended on waiting until she fell asleep and creeping out.
But I just can’t bring myself to.
I just lie there, wide awake with my eyes trained on the girl curled up beside me, half making sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit, half relishing in something I've ached for for six months.
Fuck, I've missed this. I've missed this so much it hurts. We're barely even touching, just her knees brush my side and her forehead rests on my shoulder, but it feels like she's everywhere.
At one point in the night, she wakes up. Her eyes flutter open, a crinkle forming between them as she frowns when my chest is the first thing she sees. Her whole body goes rigid, regret and horror written all over her sleepy face. She raises her gaze slowly, eyes half-closed in anticipation.
I wait. I wait for her to swear and shout and kick me out.
But she doesn't.
