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I say nothing, just elbow her back. We huddle together, sharing warmth as we sip our tea in silence. After a while, I feel Lux's gaze on the side of my face, so eerily similar to the way Jackson stares me down. “You look like shit.”
“Gee, thanks,” I respond wryly. “You always were my favorite.”
She doesn’t entertain my attempt at comic relief. “Seriously, Luna. You look miserable.”
“Yeah, well. Makes sense.”
“Luna,” she starts, soft and unoffending, “what happened?”
I know what she’s referring to and it makes me itch. Just thinking about the whole ordeal last summer fills me with an icky mixture of embarrassment and nerves and guilt and utter fucking disgust that I'm even involved with it, and with how I lashed out after I found out. “I don't wanna talk about it.”
“Lu-”
“Hey, it's me who should be checking up on you,” I interrupt, nudging her knee with mine. “How are you doing?”
I send up a silent thanks when Lux sighs and lets me change the subject. “It's weird. Like, I knew she was never gonna come home but now it's because she can't and not because she doesn't want to. I don't know how to feel about it.”
“I think that's normal.”
Lux shrugs. She sniffs, voice thicker and quieter than it was a moment ago. “I feel like I don't care as much as I should,” she whispers. “I never really counted on seeing her again so, like, what's the difference?” Another sniffle, and I pretend I don't see the tear slipping down her cheek. “And I have so much other shit to worry about right now, it just... God, I sound awful, but it doesn't seem all that important.”
Wrapping my hand in hers, I squeeze tightly. “I'm really sorry this is happening to you.”
“Yeah, me too.” Shaking her head and straightening up, Lux wipes her face before turning to me and pinning me with a look that, honestly, scares me a little. “I need to go somewhere later and I want you to come with me.”
“Okay?”
“No one else knows.”
A bad feeling settles in my gut. “Are you sick or something?”
The laugh she lets out is bitter. “Something like that.”
I wait for what feels like a lifetime before she sucks in a deep breath, something that looks a lot like fear flickering in her brown eyes. “I'm pregnant.”
* * *
“They definitely thought we were a couple.”
Lux takes her eyes off the road for a split second to shoot me a look. “They did not.”
“Did you see how that creepy receptionist looked at us? He definitely did.”
“He was looking atyoubecauseyoulook likethat.”
I snort. “What's that supposed to mean?”
Lux shoots me another look. “You’re hot, Luna. The creepy man thought you were hot.”
“Sounds like you want us to be a couple.”
My comment earns me a slap on the arm, but it's worth it. It makes Lux smile. She's been a jittery mess since the appointment.
When I woke up today, I really didn't think my morning was going to be spent at a clinic two towns away staring at my ex-boyfriend's sister's ultrasound. I thought she was joking when she told me, I really did. I thought it was payback or something.
Like, ha ha, here's your karma for hurting my brother in the form of a fucking heart attack.
But no. She was deadly serious and she proved it; I couldn't argue with the blurry black and white blotch squirming on the ultrasound technician's screen. Or the small bump rounding her stomach. I can't believe, with how close the Jacksons are, that no one's noticed that thing. She claims I aided in helping to hide it; apparently, Jackson's been too distracted to pay much attention to her. She waved off my apology; she’s not ready for him to know anyways.
