Page 154 of Bide


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“What-”

“Send me whatever the fuck I need to sign and I'll sign it. Now, get off my ranch.”

I think it’s the shock that has them leaving without protest. They amble towards their shitty little car, casting stunned glances over their shoulders, hopefully setting eyes on me for the last time. Before he shuts the door behind him, my father casts me a look, a long one that I guess is supposed to be meaningful, supposed to convey something to me but all it does is make me hate him a little more.

Fucking coward.

It's only when they're completely out of sight that I let myself breathe. I pretty much crumple in half, my palms resting on my knees as I suck in a breath. A hand curls around my shoulder. Dazed, my gaze drifts to my side to find Lux staring wide-eyed up at me, face pale and mouth slightly ajar. “What did you just do?”

“I have no idea.”

* * *

A week later and I still have no idea what I've done.

It happened a lot quicker than I thought it would. Actually, I didn't really think it would happen at all. I anticipated a fight. I didn't expect them to send the paperwork over before the weekend was even done. A couple of signatures and a check in the mail and that was it.

They must have been more eager to get rid of the place than I thought.

Or, more likely, eager to get rid of us.

Whatever. It's no skin off my back. The place is mine.

Serenity Ranch is mine.

Well, technically mine. Really, the place has always been Lux's, in the way that counts.

I thought she was going to kill me, when I actually went through with the sale. At first, she got angry, berating me endlessly about how reckless I am. Then she got all weird and soppy and cried while hugging me and thanking me for making them leave. And then she got angry again, at our dad this time, cursing his name and calling him every derogatory name under the sun.

He tried to call. Or at least I assume the random numbers blowing up my phone, the girls' phones and the ranch's landline have all been him. I ignored every single one, made sure the girls did too, and blocked any number I didn't recognize.

He doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to miss our entire lives and then suddenly show up when we're all grown, after the hard part is done. After Lux and I did the hard part for him. He doesn't get to be some sick consolation prize. Like, hey, you lost one parent, but here's a backup.

I got paranoid that he would turn up again unannounced and get to the girls this time so I packed them up like I wanted to do the second the funeral finished and carted them all down to Sun Valley for a couple of days. Lux put up a bit of a fight—she acts like the place will sink into the ground if she leaves it—but the others were more than happy. Even Lottie. The guys didn't mind letting them stay with us, thank God. Nick's hardly ever here anyway so I stuck the twins in his room and let Eliza and Lux have my room while I took the couch.

My friends each had their own different reactions to finding out about what I'd done since they'd last seen me. Nick barked out a laugh and clapped me on the back, snickering under his breath as he wished me luck. Cass smirked and asked if this means he gets a discount in the guesthouses now; Lux responded with a scoffed 'hell no.' Ben just blinked at me and said, “Are you still rich? Or are you normal like the rest of us now?”

I just laughed.

We haven't really been doing much the last few days. We've just been... dealing, I guess. With everything that's happened. I had a game earlier today, so I brought them to that. It felt nice having someone cheering in the stand for me again. I missed that.

They leave sooner than I’d like—Lux had some appointment she needed to get back for—and the second her car disappears from sight, I start wishing I'd gone out after the game like the guys did.

The house feels too quiet, too empty, and as I laze on the couch, it hits me that this is the first time I’ve been alone since everything happened. The first time I've had a second to think. To process, or whatever.

I don't like it. I don't really want to. What's done is done, I can't change it, and if I have to think about my fucked up family for one more second, I might lose it.

But my mind won't let me not think about it. It keeps straying to the day of the funeral, easily one of the weirdest days of my life. It felt so wrong. Like nothing that was happening was real. Like I wasn't actually there, just watching from afar. All these people were in my house, people who didn't even know my mom, they just came for us, her kids.

I hated it, the crowd and the attention, but I was grateful for it at the same time. I'm glad the girls have a support system since I can't be there all the time. At least, not until after I graduate.

It's ironic that the one bright spot in my day came in the form of someone who makes my chest ache every time I look at her. I knew the others were coming but I didn’t think she would. I didn't realize how much I wanted her to, how much I needed her to, until she was in my living room and my knees almost gave out at the sight of her.

It was weird, how normal everything felt. How easily we fell back into that familiar pattern. Sad too, because I had this voice in the back of my head constantly reminding me that it was only temporary. That much was proved when I woke up the next morning and found a cold, empty spot in my bed.

Pathetic, really.

At my own mother's fucking funeral and all I could think about was her.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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