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“There's room, sweetheart. Whatever you want, there's room for it.”
I turn in his arms, my fingers grasping his collar so tightly I practically have him in a chokehold. “Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack.”
The back of my hand meets his chest. “Don't tease.” His mischievous smile smoothes out into a serious expression, and I try again. “This isn't us sharing a room. This is sharing ahouse.”
A whole ass house.Ourhouse. A very fucking permanent house that he designed for his family. For us.
Don't cry.
“Luna,” Jackson says softly, both hands moving to tuck my hair behind my ears before cupping my face. “I know this isn't very romantic and you're supposed to be romantic when you're asking someone to live with you.” A very ugly noise rips from my throat. “If you say no, I'll understand. I'll still love you.”
I wait for it. I wait for the voice in my head to tell me to run, for the 'leave first before they leave you' mentality to kick in and ruin everything.
I almost cry when it doesn't.
It takes several deep breaths and a brief moment of internally bullying myself to suck it up, but I eventually manage to breathe out, “Go on, then. Ask me.”
He laughs so hard it vibrates through my entire body. “You wanna make this our house, sweetheart?”
For maybe the first time in my life, I don't hesitate.
“Fuck yeah.”
EPILOGUE
LUNA
I don't knowwhy I'm doing this.
Amelia suggested it. Said it would help cuz I've kind of been struggling since Jackson moved home. We had a great summer on the ranch, hanging out with his sisters and Alex and building the house, but it was bittersweet. I couldn't stop thinking about how I was leaving and he wasn't. He's only a few hours away but it might as well be the other side of the world.
I'm being dramatic, I know. We see each other at least once a month, and we talk practically every minute of the day, but after three straight months of being together nonstop, it feels... wrong? Yeah, being apart feels wrong. I don't know.
Maybe I'm just a clingy bitch.
But yeah, anyway, Amelia says writing shit like this down helps. Her therapist suggested it to her and Dr Resnick is basically God in Amelia's eyes, and Nick's, so I thought I'd give it a go. I did some research and apparently, it's good for people with ADHD too. Helps you process emotions and big events and shit like that.
I don't know. We'll see. I'll give it a try, I guess.
It can't hurt.
* * *
I saw him on campus today.
Just for a moment, in passing, when I was on the way to class. It was... weird. How apathetic I felt. Considering all the anger and hurt and betrayal I've felt in the past, it was odd to feel nothing for once. I might as well have been walking past a stranger.
The only speck of emotion occurred when I clocked his ring-free finger, and that was pride because fuck yeah, Jennifer. It took longer than it should've because Professor Jacobs is a dick and he fought her every step of the way but she made good on her promise to divorce his sorry ass.
She doesn't look at me that way anymore. The sad way. The way that kind of makes her look like she's in pain. Now, there's nothing but warmth in her gaze. She calls me Pen's sister and she calls Pen and I 'her girls.'
I'm glad I don't hurt her anymore.
Speaking of Pen, she was with me when we saw the sperm donor. As much as he didn't react to me, he didn't even blink an eye at Pen either. I know Pen tries not to care but I could tell it crushed her a little. She hates the man, she hates what he did, but he's still her dad. I know it's hard for her to connect the man who raised her with the cheating asshole he turned out to be. She's coping though. She's got me and her mom and my mom to help her through it.
Kind of a fucking power team, to be honest.
