AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He makes a noise that suggests I’m in no position to tell him what he is or isn’t allowed to do. “How long have you known?”
“Less than a week.”
Cass snorts. I reckon any answer I provided, he would’ve snorted. He wouldn't believe it.
My hands ball into fists, and I cling to the stinging pain of my nails biting into my palm in an effort to remain calm. “I took a test the day you came over.Afteryou came over,” I make sure to clarify. “I got an ultrasound to confirm a few days ago.”
“It’s definitely mine?”
Valid question. I definitely expected it. Still hurts. “Yes.”
At least he doesn’t question it. That look on his face doesn’t get any better but it doesn’t get any worse either. It doesn't change at all. Just remains some kind of stoic yet stricken distress.
All things considered, this is going better than last time. He’s yet to laugh. Call me a liar. Demand proof. Accuse me of cheating. Round it all off by throwing fifty bucks and a request I never followed through on at me.
Although, it is still early.
“You should’ve told me.”
“I was going to.”
“Before or after the birth?”
“Oh, fuck you.”You sarcastic, righteous motherfucker.“I’m sorry, Cass. I’m sorry I didn’t immediately drop everything and tell you. I am sofuckingsorry that I needed a minute to process this myself.”
“It’s not just about you.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because it doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like you’re being pretty fucking selfish.”
“Get out.”
“What?”
“Getout.” I clasp the edge of the door, holding it wide open. “Get out of my apartment.”
Cass laughs, like he thinks I’m joking.
It takes him a full minute to realize I’m not.
He laughs again but it’s a bitter noise this time, full of disbelief. “Fine.”
The second he’s across the threshold, I slam the door behind him and collapse against it, forehead pressed to the wood.
Panic clogs my throat. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. This is my worst nightmare. Ihatethat it’s happened like this. I hate that I wanted anything different, and I hate that I want this.
Cass clearly doesn’t. August won’t. Willow is being supportive but I can’t imagine she’s interested in adding a screaming newborn to the list of freeloaders squatting at her place.
This whole freaking town is going to think I’m the slut who seduced the rich, handsome, popular sporting legend and we’re gonna have to move again, and I don’t wanna move again. I like it here, I want to be here, I want to have friends, and I want this baby butit doesn’t matter.
Knocking interrupts my spiraling. Three hesitant raps that have me jerking away backwards. “Open the door, Sunday,” bleeds through the wood, soft and desperate, and I bite back a sob as I visualize the disappointed man on the other side. “Fuck,please. I’m sorry. I won’t yell anymore.”
It’s so fucking pathetic that something in me melts. That something saysawww, he came back and apologized! He’s trying! He yelled a minute ago but he’s done now! How sweet!
Maybe if I had better standards, I wouldn’t give in. I’d let him stew a little, let him suffocate under the weight of his guilt like I’ve been doing since a piece of plastic foretold my future. Or maybe it’s that very guilt that guides my hand to the doorknob, twists it and pulls. The knowledge that Cass is right; it is selfish. It was selfish the first time, having August the way I did. Not being able to raise him the right way. Giving him half the life he deserves. Everyone told me it would be, screamed it until they were blue in the face, and I didn’t listen.
Heat pricks my eyes as Cass re-enters my apartment, looking so fucking distraught, it just about breaks my heart. I stare at the floor as I echo his apology, voice thick and shaky. “I’m sorry. I really was gonna tell you, I was just scared and wanted to wrap my head around it first and—”
