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His job. Only a job. That’s all it ever was. From the beginning. “All of it? Even when you came up to me at the pet store. You were following me.” I want him to tell me I’m wrong. I need it. This can’t be true.
“That’s how I do my job.”
“No, you do your job by killing people.”
“Yes, and I was preparing.” His face falls. “I never wanted to hurt you. Not in any way.”
“Oh, congratulations, you totally succeeded.” Sarcasm drips heavily from her voice.
“I know you’re upset.”
“Upset? No, upset doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.” I can’t find the words and can barely pull enough air into my lungs to get them out, anyway. My throat is tight, and the pressure in my chest is intense enough that I wonder if I’m having a heart attack.
When I touch a hand to it, Talon reaches for me—and winces when I flinch but doesn’t back away. “Are you okay? What do you need? Do you feel sick?”
“I don’t know…”
“I’ll get you some water. You just stay where you are.” Sure, because water is what I need right now. A glass of water will totally erase the fact that I gave my virginity to a hitman. That I slept with him again last night, and he’s still in my apartment, and I’m basically trapped with him. Water will make it all better.
“I didn’t want you to find out this way. I don’t know what it is about you.” I’m not even sure I want to know why he’s so at ease in my kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water without hesitation. It’s like every time I turn around, there’s a new thing to be horrified by. “You make me forget everything I know.”
“Are you going to kill me?”
He stops abruptly halfway between the kitchen and where I’m sitting, gaping at me like I lapsed into a foreign language. “How could you even think that?”
“Don’t. Please. Don’t act like I’m out of line. You just got done telling me you’re a hitman, and the whole escort thing was some elaborate plot to get to my cousin. You set me up and had the nerve to…”
I have to look at the floor. I’m too embarrassed to look at him anymore. “And now you want me to have faith in you? How does that work? I know what you do for a living, and I know you killed my cousin. I’m not supposed to guess the next step would be killing me to keep me quiet?”
I can’t help but cringe when he sits down. “This might be hard for you to believe, but I’ve never been more serious when I say the last thing I will ever do is hurt you.”
“You already have. You lied to me. You scared the shit out of me last night, and you’re scaring me now. You’re hurting me right now.”
“I am so sorry for that. It was never my intention. Ainsley, I couldn’t have guessed what you would do to me. How you would… reach me.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I could have left the reception after I gave him the powder. My job was done. I didn’t have to stay, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave you. I sure as hell didn’t have to make myself visible to an entire ballroom full of people when I caught that garter and put it on you.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“Why do you think? Because of you. I meant every word I said to you—everything I said about your family, everything I said to them on your behalf. The moment I stepped through that door and saw you in that beautiful dress, I changed. You changed me.”
“What? I made you discover you have a heart?” I snort.
“I know you’re not being serious, but yes. That’s as close as I can come to describing it.”
“Stop, please.” I can’t take it. My heart can’t take it.
He slides closer until he’s almost on top of me. I want to tell him to get away, but I want just as much to beg him to hold me. It’s the sweetness underneath his intensity. Like he really means every word. He might as well tear me in half. That’s what it feels like.
“No one in the world will devote himself to you the way I will. Never again will anyone make you feel small or like an outsider. Not one more day. All I want is to take care of you, keep you safe, and make you happy.”
His hand closes over my knee. “You can’t pretend you don’t feel it. What’s between us is real. Don’t ask me to spend my life wanting you without being able to touch you.”
“What if I did ask for that?” I whisper with my heart in my throat.
“You’d be wasting your breath.” His tone flattens. “Because I’m not letting you go. We belong together. I don’t let go of what’s mine.”
