AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You always say you don’t do enough. You can do more now.” He kisses my forehead, which only makes me feel worse.
My hesitation is not about my ability to expand. Though that scares me too, it’s not my biggest fear.
“The pressure to raise the funds is too much.” My argument is too weak for anyone, let alone a lawyer used to cross-examination.
He kisses my forehead again. “Just as you have people regularly contributing here, you will find donors in Chicago. I’ll help you.”
I’m pretty sure he knows my reluctance lies elsewhere, but I’m grateful he plays along. “I don’t want to do it.” I push out the words, coarse with pent-up emotions.
He stiffens around me. It’s like I’m engulfed by a solid coffin, only his blazing eyes shining with life.
The sounds of the city outside blend into the background until I can only hear my thumping heart, and even that probably only exists in my mind.
“I see.” Dominic rolls on to his back.
The loss of his heat is devastating. He doesn’t leave the bed, yet he’s never felt so far. He might be in Chicago already. We stare at the ceiling. Frozen in time. Torn. Disappointed.
I see. He only said two short words, but I heard the hurt in them. I recognize it because I feel it as well.
Chapter20
Dominic
Ipound the pavement with punishing determination, as if I was in a race. I’m trying to tame the disjointed thoughts and my growing agitation. The sharp wind cuts right through my running vest, chilling me to the bone.
I force my way along the path, ignoring the other joggers. Central Park is desolate, filled only with the chilled air and silence ringing eerily in my ears, interrupted by the sound of my shoes on the frosted ground. The trees sparkle with the early morning sunlight, but its magic is lost on me.
Fuck London. Fuck New York. I’m not staying here any longer. The only reason I’ve stayed this long was some misguided loyalty to Chils and her father. They gave me a false feeling of belonging, but I don’t belong here.
I came here to rediscover my drive, and that’s where the mission needs to end. I can fix the one last problem in my recovery quickly. To rip off that particular bandage, I’ll shower and go to court today. And I’ll stay there all day, even if it kills me. Goddammit.
I run faster, fueled by my anger. Chils finally slept over. Thank you very much. We stared at the ceiling like two strangers and eventually I fell asleep, and she must have as well because she was still there when I woke up.
I’m not sure what pisses me off more. That she doesn’t feel the same way about this thing between us, or thatIfeel those things.
Rocco’s out of his mind, because this is frankly the shittiest feeling of hopelessness I’ve ever experienced. I feel like a failure, and I don’t do failure.
I anticipated she’d be scared to upgrade our relationship. Frankly, I wasn’t sure if we could keep it up. Neither of us is exactly experienced in that area. But I expected that through the mutual passion for the project here and in Chicago we would create our own version of partnership. And when she agreed to fly to Chicago, I was hopeful. What a stupid sentiment.
“Good morning, Dominic.” Cesare opens the door for me and I jog inside, my lungs grateful for the warmth.
“I’m going to miss you, Cesare.” I pat his shoulder and he frowns.
“Are you moving out? I thought you and Ms. Lowe—”
“My stay here has always been temporary. I’ll be selling the apartment.” I leave him there because I don’t want to discuss it further. I’d originally planned to keep the place as an investment property, but no longer. Selling is the right move.
The right move should spread satisfaction through my veins. My veins are plagued with anger today.
It’s enough I’ll be connected to her through the legal clinic here. I’ll have to delegate the property management and the project itself to someone fast.
I open the door and throw my key on the console table. I turn and gasp, startled because I forgot about her shaved head. Chils jumps up from the sofa, spilling what is in her mug and wincing in pain.
“Did you burn yourself?” I dash to her and take her hand into mine. Like touching an exposed wire, the jolt of electricity dials up the sensitivity of every single cell of my body.
Ignoring the reaction, I focus on the already reddening skin between her knuckles and her wrist. My heart bounces around my chest in a weird, disconnected beat.
The last thing I expected this morning was a flood of worry for her.
