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Chapter20
Mila
“I’m sure there are options. Funding you can apply for.” Ron kisses Annie’s head and she sniffles.
I’m so happy my sister has him after the nursing service turned into more between them. But I have a hard time accepting him in our lives. Not his fault—Ron will forever be associated with a man who hurt me.
Hurt me and himself based on the way he acted on Saturday.
I wanted to give him a chance to explain, but I knew he would have manipulated me. I knew I’d have given in because I miss him. I miss him so badly it spreads through me like a slow-acting poison, eating at my organs, leaking bile through my body.
And yet… I know he would plan and execute another gift. Even within his failed attempt to talk on Saturday at Hunter’s Club, he wanted to help Annie and get me another job. I would always be his charity case.
Or worse, he would always go ahead and solve my issues without discussing it or regarding my genuine needs.
Part of me knows—wants to believe—his intentions are good. But that’s what I believed about Brian’s actions. It’s not fair to compare the two of them. Somewhere in the deep dark crevices of my broken heart I know they are nothing alike.
I know that, but I have to be selfish and protect myself from his dominance to ensure I don’t drown in it.
“What do you think, Mils?” Annie’s quivering voice brings me back to my bleak reality.
“At the end of the day, I don’t think they can just throw him out,” I offer a useless opinion.
“That may be so, but his teacher’s recommendation about him needing a different environment—”
“They are just overworked, and with too many kids. His last seizure scared them and now they are trying to make it easier on themselves.” I turn to the window, because I hate myself for suggesting Aidan should stay at his current school when it’s quite clear it’s not the best choice for him.
“Knowing that doesn’t really help Aidan, does it?” Annie snaps. “He needs to go to a school where he can thrive despite his issues. Where they are equipped to help him. He deserves that,” she whimpers, and my heart—my completely abused, shattered heart—breaks into more pieces.
“I know that.” I turn and wipe my tears. “Annie, I’ll try to make more money. I’ll beg Portia to give me the job at the Wings back.” Even if it means running into Gio on a regular basis. My stomach constricts.
“I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve been doing so much already. My family is not your responsibility.” She sobs, and Ron pulls her closer.
“My family is my responsibility, but at this point, between your treatment and the rent, we’ll have to keep Aidan in his current school for a bit longer.” Now I’m crying too.
“I’ll help with the rent,” Ron says, stroking Annie’s hair. “I’ve been staying here more, anyway.”
Annie raises her head and smiles through the tears. “Are we moving in together?”
He shrugs and wipes a tear from her cheek. “I guess we are, baby.”
The scene is gut-wrenching. Love and suffering linger in the air, crushing me inside. Desolation wraps me in a tight embrace, and I go back to watching the street, unable to witness my sister’s tender relationship without feeling sorry for myself.
Ron’s help would benefit us, but it’s still thousands of dollars less than what we need. And with the cost of a private school looming, we’re deep in debt before we even solve our current mounting problems.
“We’ll figure it out.” The two of them kiss on the sofa, and now I feel like an intruder. Great. We can add another apartment to our growing financial needs.
I grab my laptop and make my way to the kitchen where I’ve been working, because I don’t want to spend money on coffee while working in coffee shops. I have a few clients that bring in steady income to cover our basics, but it’s not enough. London’s next gala is far away…
I flip mindlessly through the mail, and an envelope catches my eye. It’s from our landlord. With my nail, I peel the flap open and pull the letter out. The words blur in front of my eyes, swirling another degree of dread in my stomach.
Ellery cries out, waking from her nap. The load of responsibility strains my frail nerves and I sink into the chair, just as Annie walks in with my niece.
“What’s wrong?” She stops, frowning.
I study Ellery’s sweet face and try to push away the overwhelming feeling that I’m failing them all. The letter drops from my hand.
“Mila?” Annie pulls Ellery closer to her chest. The little girl rests her head on Annie’s shoulder, her sleepy eyes full of innocence. I can’t take it anymore.
