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My mother’s death anniversary is today. I’ve never been allowed to go to her headstone, but there’s nothing holding me back today.
It takes me a half hour walking around to find the right place. All the other headstones have real or fake flowers around them. They look loved and taken care of, unlike my mother’s. I place the bouquet of sunflowers down and use a small fork to dig a hole, placing two sunflower seeds into it before covering it up.
“My father is three rows over from your mother. I wonder if they know each other?” I jump at the timbre of his voice.
Max is standing there in jeans and a white T-shirt. His hands are in his pockets as he looks down at me.
“She probably doesn’t like him.”
“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he says, but I refuse to give him any more of my attention. He didn’t come and try to see me once I was in custody. He could have prevented everything and did nothing. It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. My brain had warped what we really were to each other. I had allowed myself to fall into this dark fairytale where I was the one who got her happily ever after.
My mind drifts back to the police station when he didn’t come after me for the second time. Seeing him had my heart bursting with happiness before I realized he wasn’t the one who saved me. He stood there, confused to see me walking free.
My life has never been mine to control. My father controlled me for most of it before Max took over. I don’t know what a life of my choosing would even look like.
Since Max entered my life, I have smiled more than I ever had, made friends, and felt like someone who I always wanted to be. Now, I’m determined to do it on my terms.
“Why won’t you look at me?” He growls, because he’s not getting the reaction he wants.
I stand, turning toward him, wanting to say this to his face. “You’re a coward.”
I stomp past him, my shoulder hitting his arm when he steps toward me but thinks better of it. As he should.
Then I see my dog lying in the grass ten feet from us.
“You stole my dog?” Brute lifts his head, looking at me, but he doesn’t move. “He used to like me before you entered and bribed him with ice cream.”
“You can have him back.”
The audacity of this man.
I turn, marching back to him and pointing my finger into his strong, hard chest. “Does that dog look like he wants to come with me?”
We both turn our heads and Brute is looking at Max, wagging his tail. I’m completely forgotten, like I’m not even here. “See what I mean? You steal everything for yourself.”
I can’t even be in his presence, he makes me so angry.
“I was coming for you.” I stop, unsure if I heard correctly. “That’s what I was doing there, at the station.”
I scoff out a humorless laugh. “The Max I know never wants to be in the spotlight. Looks like it worked out for you and you get to continue walking around among the shadows like you prefer. You’re off the hook. I don’t need you anymore.”
My voice comes out loud and strong when I feel nothing like that. I want to cry, and eat ice cream, and fall into myself until this black cloud that’s hovering over my head disappears.
I’vewalkedbyThroneof Sin every day for the last two weeks. I miss my best friend, I miss my job, and there’s even a part of me that misses those bitchy girls.
“Hey, New York. We’ve missed you around here.” The bouncer greets me as I walk closer. “You coming in today?”
I place my hands in my front pockets. “I’m thinking about it. Is Dante in?”
The bouncer’s eyes light up. “He is. And if you go in, you’re going to make me a hundred bucks.”
“What?”
“Girl, you have been missed like hell, and we see you walking by. Dante had you never coming back, Demi had you coming back a week ago, and Shelby bet tomorrow. Today is my bet,” he says proudly.
I scratch at my temple. “I’m not going to be thrown out the moment I step inside, right?”
“Sienna, go in.” He gives me a look.
