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‘Calm down. Breathe,’ she urged. ‘You’re okay, Gemma. I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be okay.’ It was a lie I simply couldn’t believe.
‘Where is he? Why isn’t he here?’
‘I don’t know. I wish I did.’
‘Finn loves me. I know he does. You know it too.’
‘Maybe it’s not his love that’s in question,’ Hannah said carefully, her hands moving to the ties at the back of my dress as she began to undo the fastenings that she’d laced up only a short while ago. The gown fell to my feet, and I half stumbled, half fell out of it in my satin Agent Provocateur underwear, which now felt as inappropriate as balloons at a funeral. ‘Maybe it’s the commitment thing that Finn’s scared of. I know you’re not going to want to hear this…’ she began, and then paused, her expression concerned.
‘Go on.’
‘Finn has everything he ever wanted, or so he claims. And yet it’s looking increasingly obvious that he’schosennot to be here today. He has walked away when everything he supposedly wants is right there in front of him.’
Something very cold and ugly crawled into my soul and curled up several times, like a cat getting comfortable.
Hannah took a deep breath before saying the words that would shred my heart. ‘And we both know this wouldn’t be the first time he’s unexpectedly walked away when things were just about to go really well.’
I wanted to scream at her that she was wrong. To tell her that nothing could be further from the truth. But I couldn’t, and we both knew why.
Because Hannah was right. This wouldn’t be the first time.
7
ACROSSACROWDEDBAR
Seven years earlier
‘I thought you were going out?’
‘I am,’ I said, reaching for the second half of my sandwich and sinking my teeth into the thickly sliced bread. ‘I’m lining my stomach in preparation.’
‘Oh, it’s going to bethatkind of an evening, is it?’ Hannah asked, crossing to the hob to stir something that smelt a great deal more appealing than a cheese sandwich.
‘It’s an engagement party for two journos, and it’s being held in a bar with an extended happy hour,’ I said between mouthfuls. ‘I think it’s safe to say things might get a little messy.’
Hannah took her attention from the recipe book she was studying and cast a concerned look over her shoulder. ‘It’ll be good for you to get out for the evening. If nothing else, it’ll stop you obsessively checking your phone every two minutes.’
I couldn’t argue with her. Ever since I’d received the call fromGlowtelling me I was one of two final candidates under consideration, I’d been as nervous as a turkey at Christmas. Despite assuring me that a decision was imminent, I’d still not heard anything.
‘It’ll take your mind off it to go out and have some fun,’ Hannah said.
‘I think I’d havemorefun staying here with you and William,’ I replied, laughing at her horrified expression. There were flowers on the table, candles waiting to be lit, and only two place settings. ‘But I won’t,’ I added hastily. ‘I’m sure there’ll besomeoneI know there tonight.’ Hannah’s easy smile froze when I added darkly, ‘Just as long as it isn’t Nick or Christopher.’
My friend’s scowl was just this side of terrifying. Hannah, who’d never had a cheating ex in her life, had a tendency to react like a Rottweiler whenever mine were mentioned.
‘Do you think that’s likely?’
‘Journalism is a small world,’ I said with a shrug. ‘Sooner or later you’re bound to bump into someone you’d rather not see again.’
To be honest, I was surprised to have received an invitation to Sarah’s engagement party. It had been four years since we’d worked together atThe Chronicle, and we’d pretty much lost touch over the last few.
‘Perhaps you could do some networking tonight,’ Hannah suggested. ‘You might hear about some other magazine jobs.’ Her face fell in dismay as she realised she’d caught a dose of my Eeyore-like pessimism. ‘Not that you’re going to need them, because I’m sure you’ve got the job atGlow.’ She crossed the kitchen to give me a reassuring hug.
‘Only if the other girl screwed up her interview even worse than I did.’
‘Or the otherguy.’
I shuddered. ‘That doesn’t even bear thinking about. You know, I’d sooner lose out to anyone in the world but him.’
