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Finn got to his feet with a degree of urgency I’d not seen in him before. ‘Sorry, this shouldn’t take long.’
He paused for a moment to say something to Tasha, in a voice too low for me to catch, as he squeezed past her. She glanced my way and nodded.
I waited until Finn had disappeared into the back room and then quickly gathered up my belongings. I was pretty intuitive when it came to reading atmospheres, and it suddenly felt as though I was the last guest at the party and had embarrassingly outstayed my welcome.
I pulled out my purse as I approached the counter, where Tasha was busily transferring the entire tray of cupcakes into an enormous cardboard box.
‘Are you leaving right now?’
From somewhere unseen I could hear the deep rumble of Finn’s voice on the phone. ‘Yes. I want to get back to my friend. She’s been admitted to St Thomas’s.’
With practised speed, Tasha flipped the box lid shut and slid it across the counter towards me.
‘How much do I owe you for the coffee and the cakes?’
‘Finn said there’s no charge.’
My mouth dropped open in a small O of surprise. ‘No, really, I’d like to pay for them.’ I wasn’t sure why it suddenly felt so important not to be beholden to this man, I just knew that it did.
‘He’s the boss. You’ll have to argue it out with him.’
I glanced back towards the doorway through which Finn had disappeared and then out through the window towards the hospital. It was rude to leave without at least thanking him in person for his generosity, but Hannah would be back from her tests soon and I couldn’t bear the thought of her facing the possibility of bad news without someone who loved her beside her. In a battle of loyalties, there was really no contest.
‘Could you please thank him for me. For everything,’ I said, rearranging my shopping bags so I could hold the box of cakes more securely in my arms.
Tasha crossed to unlock the door, and I stepped back outside into the still-warm afternoon, as though emerging from a particularly surreal dream.
‘Good luck,’ Tasha said as she pushed the door shut behind me. It was a curious thing to say, but I took it at face value and assumed she was referring to Hannah. It was only later that I wondered if she’d actually meant something else entirely.
11
THERIDEHOME
Four years earlier
William arrived on the ward in a cacophony of pounding feet and rumbling suitcase wheels. He wove past anyone in his path, like an American footballer on the way to a touchdown.This is what love looks like, I thought, as his face transformed when he spotted Hannah in her hospital bed. I’d never had that; I’d never even come close. I wanted someone who saw me and only me; who didn’t scan every room we entered looking for a newer, shinier, prettier upgrade, like the men I’d dated in the past. My track record of picking the wrong guy – the oneguaranteedto break my heart – was painfully impressive. But this was what I wanted. I wanted a partner who’d run like a man possessed to reach my side.
Hannah, who’d been drifting into sleep, pinged instantly awake at the sound of her husband’s voice. I slipped from my chair beside her bed, giving him free access to her arms, which were already outstretched towards him.
‘I got here as fast as I could,’ he cried, his voice breaking as tears of relief began to trickle down his cheeks. I’d never seen William cry before, and I was so moved, it started me off again. Hannah joined in, for good measure.
‘How are you? How is… everything?’ he asked on a terrified whisper, his eyes going to Hannah’s stomach. Beneath the bunched hospital blankets, it was impossible to detect if their hopes were still intact.
‘Everything is still okay, for now,’ Hannah said, her face awash with tears and a smile.
William’s knees buckled, and he sort of folded into the chair I’d just vacated. He laid his head on Hannah’s bed, and her hand – the one without the drip attached to it – gently stroked his hair. William looked as though he was praying, and perhaps he was.
‘They say I’ll have to stay on bed rest for a while.’
‘I don’t care if it’s for the next six months,’ William declared, his words muffled, spoken as they were against Hannah’s abdomen. ‘Just as long as you’re okay.’ His hand came up to run lovingly over her tiny baby bump. ‘Both of you.’
I suddenly felt like an intruder, peeking through a curtain I had no business parting. This was their time, and I wasn’t needed there any more.
‘Erm, guys, I’m pretty sure they’ll only allow you to have one emergency after-hours visitor, so I’m going to make tracks now and leave you in peace.’
They turned towards me, wearing matching expressions of gratitude. I dismissed their chorus of thank yous as totally unnecessary.
‘You were here for me when I needed you, Gemma,’ said Hannah as I enfolded her in my arms and hugged her carefully, as though she were made from glass. She hugged me back, hard, as though to prove that she wasn’t.
