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An overhead clock confirmed we had less than four minutes until my train left, and although my ticket was clasped in my hand, I had no idea which platform I needed. We wove at speed through the milling crowd as though it was an obstacle course.
‘What if I miss it?’ I gasped, aware that only one of us was seriously out of breath. My New Year’s resolution was now definitely to join a gym.
‘If you do, then you’ll just have to spend the night with me,’ Finn reasoned.
My steps faltered and I very nearly stopped altogether because, suddenly, missing my train sounded like a pretty good idea after all.
Finn bit his lip, looking every bit as torn as I felt, before eventually shaking his head. ‘As tempting as that idea is, we should at least try to catch it.’
We found the platform, which came into sight just as the station clock clicked away one more minute. With just two to go, we thundered up to the barrier. Without a platform ticket, this was where I had to leave Finn.
There had been so many opportunities for him to kiss me throughout the evening, and yet we’d foolishly let them all slip past us. I wanted so much for it to be a moment we’d both remember. It should have happened under the starry night sky in the horse-drawn carriage, or even in the back of the taxi. But not here. From the rueful look in his eyes, I knew Finn was thinking exactly the same thing.
In my head scrolled a montage of vintage black-and-white films featuring passionate, forbidden embraces on station platforms, where couples locked lips surrounded by billowing clouds of steam from the train’s engines.
My hand hovered hesitantly beside the automatic barrier, which was waiting to snatch the ticket from my fingers. Oblivious to the other late-arriving passengers flying past us, Finn took his time as he reached for the trailing ends of my scarf and tugged me closer towards him.
There was no time for a long, lingering kiss, but the moment his mouth joined mine the booming tannoy announcements, the whistle of the guards, and the station chaos disappeared. My lips had only just parted beneath his before the kiss was over.
Finn took my ticket, slid it into the slot, and then gently propelled me through the barrier as it sprang open.
‘Run,’ he urged, as the clock clicked over to midnight.
‘Will I see you again?’ I asked ridiculously.
His smile, I knew, would stay with me for the entire journey home. ‘Of course you will,’ he assured me, calling out to my retreating back. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’
I had literally only just thrown myself on to my seat when the train began to pull out of the station. My breathing was still erratic, perhaps from the run to the platform or from the kiss. Maybe both.
I closed my eyes, but they flew open just moments later when my phone rang.
‘Hello,’ I said, uncaring that the rest of the carriage could easily overhear me.
‘It’s tomorrow already,’ said Finn, and even though the train was pulling me ever further away from him, I knew he was smiling. ‘So, when can I see you again?’
19
THEPARTY
Eighteen months earlier
‘I feel really bad about leaving you, Gemma. Perhaps I shouldn’t go after all.’
I’d been expecting this objection, or something very similar. They’d been coming thick and fast ever since I gifted Dad a Christmas cruise holiday. I shut the boot of my car in case his last-minute jitters prompted him to remove his luggage from where we’d stowed it.
‘Of course you should go. You’re going to have an absolutely amazing time.’ My enthusiasm was a little over the top; if I’d had a pair of pompoms, I could have passed for a cheerleader. I dialled it back down. ‘Honestly, Dad, I’ll be fine.’
‘I just don’t like the thought of you being alone for the holidays,’ he said, one foot in the car but the other still firmly planted on the pavement.
‘Don’t worry about me. I’m looking forward to having a wonderful, long, relaxing break from work,’ I assured him, neatly skirting his point about being alone. I climbed into the car, hoping that if he wanted to continue our conversation, he’d follow suit. He did.
‘And remember I’m not going to be alone on Christmas Day; I’ll be spending it with Hannah, William and Milly.’
Dad’s smile was wistful, and I knew without asking that his thoughts were travelling back to Fletcher family Christmases of the past. ‘I suppose it really is all about the children,’ he said on a sigh. His eyes appeared a little misty as he looked at me, making me wonder who he was seeing. Was it the grown woman who was about to drive him to the train station or the tomboy five-year-old I’d once been, who’d always been far too excited to fall asleep on Christmas Eve?
‘I love you, Dad,’ I said, leaning across and pressing a kiss on his weathered cheek before switching on the engine.
Last Christmas had been awful. We were only a few months past losing the woman who had held our family together, and neither of us had felt like celebrating. Which was why it seemed so important to do something completely different this year. We needed a Christmas reset. So Dad was off to the Azores, and I was going to be spending some quiet time at home. Dad wasn’t wrong about that; I would be at home – although not necessarily alone.
