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‘Sorry, I’ve got to take this,’ I said, grabbing my phone and running upstairs.
I took a deep breath, my heart racing. ‘Hello?’ I whispered.
‘At last!’ boomed George’s deep, familiar voice. ‘Where are you? I can tell by the phone ring you’re abroad?’
‘I am abroad, yes.’
‘Where have you gone? Your Instagram is full of snow and mountains. Strange choice for a holiday, isn’t it? You can’t even cope with the draught from the front door at home – you hate the cold.’
‘I don’t see that it’s anything to do with you where I am anymore, George,’ I replied.
‘Don’t be like that. This is hard for me as well, you know. And there are things we need to talk about. The house, the car, the cat.’ My baby, Basil. If I could have smuggled him over in my suitcase, I would have done, but I didn’t want to unsettle him. He’d already relocated once to Mum and Dad’s and that was enough for the time being. He was at his happiest prowling the mean streets of London, chatting to his cat-friends and terrorising mice.
‘Mum and Dad will look after Basil while I’m away. They love him. You can buy me out of the car if you want it. I’ve no idea what we do about the house.’ I felt sick about the house. I’d handed over my life savings, £12,000, everything I had, towards the deposit. ‘I suppose we should just sell it?’ I said, glumly.
‘Unless we rent it out for a while?’ George replied.
I thought about it for a moment. If we sold the house, we’d be done. We’d have no more reason to be in touch and that would be that. Maybe George was trying to slow things down? Maybe he didn’t want to completely cut ties with me after all.
‘Hmm… yes, you might be right; let’s keep our options open. We don’t need to decide today, and I’d rather wait a while than rush into a decision we’ll regret. Why don’t you move in for a few months until we know what we’re doing? At least that’ll save us paying out for storage.’
‘I wouldn’t feel right being in the house when you have nowhere to live,’ he said.
‘Don’t worry about me, I’m going to be away for a while… embracing life’s big adventure – as you suggested.’
‘What do you mean? Where are you?’
‘I’m in Switzerland. I’ve taken a job in a ski resort for the winter.’
‘A ski resort?’ He repeated incredulously, taking the news in. ‘Not as a chalet girl, surely? You’re far too old for that?’
‘I wouldn’t say twenty-seven is too old for anything George, but no, not as a chalet girl, as a chef. I needed to get away for a while.’
‘Yeah right,’ he scoffed. ‘Seriously? That’s a bit of an overreaction, isn’t it?’
‘Is it? Is there such a thing, when you’re jilted at the altar?’
‘I didn’t jilt you Holly, it wasn’t like that.’
‘Wasn’t it?’ I was so confused. I didn’t want to move on if George wasn’t 100 per cent sure. Was there a chance we could work things out?
‘We’ve been over this so many times. I haven’t rejected you. I just don’t think marriage is right for us, formeright now. That’s not to say it couldn’t be right in the future. Maybe we both just need some space?’
‘I’m in another country – you can’t get much more space than that. How much space do you need?’ I knew I was handing him the shreds that were left of my heart to chew back over and spit back out, but I couldn’t help myself. Where was my self-respect?
‘Let’s give it until Christmas and see how we feel then?’ he offered, generously. ‘And in the meantime, would you mind giving Margot a call and doing a deal on the money we owe her? See if she’ll do it for cost?’
‘OK,’ I said sadly. I was saying yes, but I meant no. There was no way on God’s earth I was going to start unravelling all the work I’d done to arrange our wedding. Taking it apart piece by piece. He’d have to find that money himself and pay up. It was the very least he could do.
‘Maybe I can come out and visit and we can catch up properly?’ he said softly.
‘Maybe.’ I replied. Was this what they called breadcrumbing? I was tired of asking the same questions over and over, but it did sound like there might still be a chance for us.
‘Good. We’ll stay in touch, OK? I’ll come and see you. Don’t hate me, Holly. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’m trying to do what’s right for both of us.’ How had my life so dramatically leapt from pre-wedding nerves to no-wedding disaster?
I wandered back down to my new room to have another snooze and found Liv cross-legged in front of the mirror, straightening her hair.
‘How’re you doin’ mate? Fancy coming out for a few drinks with me and Xavier to check the place out? Meet some of the locals?’
