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‘Red wine?’ Xavier offered with a smile.
‘Ooh yes, much better,’ I said, trying to make friends. ‘Sorry about the finger-licking. I’ll know for next time.’
‘I know you’ll know,’ he said, giving me a nudge and pouring out the wine. We clinked our glasses in silent exhaustion and the wine tasted all the better for it.
Twelve
6th December
‘Ready for a quick plunge?’ Liv loomed over me as I opened my eyes, and I instinctively shook my head. ‘Come on, you have to give it a go sometime.’
I creaked myself out of bed and rubbed my eyes.
‘Get your cossie on quick – ten seconds in the pool, thirty seconds in the sauna and you’ll feel like a new woman.’
‘What time is it?’ I yawned, picking up my phone.
‘Time to get up. You won’t get a revenge body lying in bed.’ Revenge body? Eh? What was she talking about? Liv headed for the bathroom and I had a flashback to drunkenly crying into my pillow and telling her all about George. Poor Liv. I’d rambled on and on into the darkness, sharing every last detail, until I must have fallen asleep. I had a stick or twist moment of decision on the plunge pool. What was the worst that could happen? Well, cardiac arrest. Hypothermia, frostbite… could I lose a toe? I begrudgingly put on my bikini, wrapped myself in a towel and shuffled through to the plunge pool with my eyes half-closed.
‘Morning.’ Xavier was already there and waiting in a pair of budgie smugglers.Vive le France!His body had light and shade, as if it were carved out of marble, and not a hair in sight. I clutched my towel tightly, hiding my pale potato of a body, and looked on in terror as Liv walked straight past us from the bathroom and slowly lowered herself into the plunge pool. OMFG. I was NOT doing that.
‘Morning,’ I replied. ‘Your turn next, is it?’ Liv was counting slowly and loudly to ten as she wriggled around. Then she was out as quick as she’d got in and ran past us both into the sauna.
‘A masterclass,’ Xavier said with a smile. ‘Ladies first.’
It was now or never, and I didn’t want to parade myself around in front of Xavier, so I needed to be quick. I was fully prepared to hate it, but Liv was right, I had to give it a go. I left my towel on the bench by the back door and ran to the plunge pool. It was ABSOLUTELY FREEZING from the second I got outside. The soles of my feet felt it first as I ran out, then my entire body as I held my nose and jumped in. But that cold feeling was NOTHING COMPARED TO THE PLUNGE POOL. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I came up for air and my teeth were chattering and my skin was stinging and I thought I was going to cry as I flailed around and screamed. Xavier stood in the doorway laughing to himself as I wiped my hair from my face and fought to survive. My heart was thumping, and I’d lost all sense of myself.
‘You can get out now,’ Xavier called, holding my towel up high so he was hidden from view. Right, yes, I can get out. My shaking hands grabbed the ladder, and it was all I could do to get myself out. Every ounce of energy was being used by my system to avoid a heart attack.
I ran to my towel which was warm and soft as Xavier wrapped it around me. He must have popped it on the radiator as I ran into the water. Thank God, thank God, I could have cried with relief as I got back into the ski room, which felt like a welcome cuddle in comparison. Liv had just left the sauna as I walked in.
‘Yes girlllll!’ she said, giving me a high five. ‘Proud of you.’
The sauna was another level and my body prickled with sweat as I thought I might die another way instead, from overheating or dehydration. This plunging lark was a rollercoaster through the senses, that was for sure. I could only stand it for a minute, before I left the heat, crossing over with Xavier mid-run, wrapped in his towel as I headed for the bathroom.
‘Xavier and I are doing breakfast and then we’re taking you up the mountain,’ Liv called from the shower.
Oh no. I hadn’t mentally prepared myself just yet and really didn’t have the capability or inclination to throw myself into the snow.
‘Honestly Liv, I’m really not sure I’m ready to…’ I started.
Liv popped her head out of the shower and gave me a look. ‘Be ready to go at 9 a.m. It’s time to show you the magic of the mountain.’
I supposed today was as good as any other. I was going to have to grit my teeth and get on with it. I took my time getting ready, with a long, hot shower then pulled out the green salopettes Auntie Pam had loaned me and lay them on the bed with my pink hat and matching earmuffs. I was confident this wasn’t a sexy look, but I wasn’t here to be sexy. It didn’t really matter what I looked like. I piled my clothes on, thermal layer, fleece layer, enormous socks, ski suit, elasticated belt, hat, gloves and was just adding my earmuffs as thepièce de résistancewhen Liv came in, stopping in her tracks to look me up and down.
‘Holy fuck, what are you dressed as?’ she laughed.
Liv wore jet-black ski trousers and a rainbow jacket with a chunky silver zip. Her long plaits hung over her shoulders with her fringe swept back by a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Effortless mountain chic.
‘I know, I’m so sorry, I haven’t done this before,’ I said, laughing hopelessly. ‘I’ll just stay here. I don’t want to embarrass you and Xavier or slow you down – your fair-weather friend dressed as Kermit the Frog.’
‘Wear it for now and I’ll sort you something out in the week,’ she said, putting her arm around me, ‘but you’ll struggle to get a man looking like that. Even out here.’
‘I’ve told you, I’m not interested; I’m still half-taken,’ I said, exasperated.
‘Not now, you’re not. But when the time comes, you don’t want to miss out because you were dressing like your gran. Stick with me, you mad pommie.’
Xavier was sat on the bench in the ski room, goggles perched on his head as he studied the piste map. He looked up as we walked in and gave my outfit the once-over.
