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‘We’re all getting the lift down,’ Xavier said. ‘We’ve had a lot to drink. I stopped counting at four beers.’
‘Nooooo,’ Liv said, staggering towards her snowboard, but Xavier got there before her and snatched it up.
‘Yes,’ he said, smiling. ‘No drinking and boarding Liv; it’s dangerous.’
Getting the cable car down in the dark was a different kind of magical. The lift was virtually empty as those brave enough to ski down had already taken the kamikaze route home. Floating through the sky back to Verbier, I felt light and giddy. The weight on my heart was starting to lift. The three of us watched as the village got closer, transforming from a sparkly speck in the distance into a magical fairyland of chalets, bars and restaurants encased in Christmas trees. It had been three months since the dreaded ‘I don’t’ but I was somehow excited for the future again. New kit, new skills, new friends and a new start. If I’d told my duvet-hiding self back then that by Christmas this would be ‘future me’, I’d never have believed it. Thank God for Margot and her synchronicity. The ink-blue sky was full of stars, and the resort was abuzz with chatter as we danced off the lift and half-ran back to the chalet.
It was such a joy to kick off my sweaty, snowboarding boots and rub my aching feet. They’d been scrunched up all day, doing their best to heel-toe me down the mountain, and needed a yogic stretch. I got into the shower while Xavier and Liv faffed about, still buzzing from the last round of tequila shots. The hot water stung my cold body, and I had a moment of pure happiness for this freezing cold adventure and these new friends who had so unexpectedly come into my life. I threw on my teddy bear onesie and sat happily underneath the hairdryer, enjoying the heat as it dried my hair, and occasionally blasting hot air down my top.
‘Spirulina nightcap?’ Liv mouthed over the noise, offering me a bright-green shot.
‘Interesting colour,’ I said, tasting it, ‘is it mixed with nuclear waste?’
‘We’re out of that. I had to use pineapple juice and ginger instead.’
Liv had a gift for combining the most bizarre drinks but getting the balance just right. It was bloody delicious. I drank it down as my phone rang and a photo of me and Abi drinking margaritas appeared on the screen.
‘Hols!!! I miss you! How are you getting on?’
I nearly burst into tears hearing Abi’s tinkly voice. I could just imagine her wandering through Marylebone on the way home from work and was desperate to give her a big hug.
‘Abs? Oh my Goddd, it’s so good to hear your voice. I miss you too!’
‘Are you enjoying it out there? Are they looking after you?’
‘Yessss. Really good! Well, kind of, you know. It’s been a lot but…’
‘Of course it has. This whole year has. Have you been out on the slopes?’
‘Yes, loads. I’ve been learning to snowboard – well, falling on my face mainly, but God loves a trier, right? When are you coming out to see me? I want to see your face.’
‘Me too… I was hoping to come in early Jan, but I’ve got a three-month theatre gig so not sure I’ll be able to now. Pencil me in for next winter instead.’
I laughed. ‘I’m not sure I’ll be out here next year as well. How are things at home? Have you seen Margot?’
‘Yes, I was in there for dinner last night – she misses you, but she’s totally fine. I wasn’t sure whether to tell you that I also bumped into George, but you sound really happy, so maybe you’d rather know?’
My stomach dropped. ‘Why? What was he doing? Did you speak to him? Did he mention me?’
‘He was certainly enjoying himself, so I’m glad you are too. Drinking shots and laughing his head off with some girls. He didn’t look like an almost-got-married man.’
‘Sounds very much like a single man. He’s probably glad to have me out of the way.’
‘He didn’t look wracked with guilt and indecision, put it that way. I wanted to slap his smug, smiling face.’
‘He’s stopped commenting on my Insta Stories, Abs. He still looks at them but doesn’t message me anymore. Which is a message in itself, I suppose.’
‘I’m so sorry, Holly. He didn’t deserve you. Let’s not waste any more time talking about him.’
*
Six hours later.
I pressed my eyelids down tight and tried to go back to sleep. Shhhh, sleepy-sleep, dream, sheep, think of nothing, nothingggg. No. It was no good. I needed something to help me settle and some earplugs to block out Liv’s snores. I crept out of bed as quietly as possible and tiptoed to the kitchen, pushing the door open to find Xavier stood barefoot in his dressing gown, stirring up a pan of hot milk.
‘Oh,’ I said, self-consciously zipping my onesie up to the neck, ‘sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up.’ I glanced at the clock. It was 4 a.m.
‘I couldn’t sleep. I tried for a while then gave up.’ Xavier pulled two cups out of the cupboard.
