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All of it nothing more than pieces she couldn’t seem to put together.
“To hell with it.”
Sadie turned away from the mishmash she’d worked on for nearly three years now. The first year back from that dark place she’d been too much of a physical and emotional wreck to focus on anything. Over the past thirty-six or so months, the one thing that had kept her from admitting defeat was her refusal to give her father the satisfaction of knowing she’d given up.
She would not give him that. Ever.
The neck of the bottle hanging from her fingertips, she decided a long hot shower was necessary. She’d finish off the bottle and hopefully sleep like the dead for a few hours. She’d promised herself she wouldn’t let the alcohol lead her anymore, but this was different. This was just for sleep. She rarely drank before or during work. She’d narrowed any serious drinking time down to a limited hour or so before bed.
It’s a start, right?She’d even gone to AA a couple of times. Needed to go more—she got that. And she would. She definitely would.
As long as she was breathing, she had an obligation to do right by Pauley. He’d left his business and this place to her.
And she needed the whole truth. All those missing pieces. Some part of her wouldn’t let go of the idea that those pieces were essential to something she didn’t fully understand.
With Asher’s murder, those pieces were even more important. Something or someone from her lost past was relevant to his death. Shehad to find that thing or person. Maybe the whole concept was simply a reason to seek revenge. Revenge was a powerful motive.
The warning that someone was on the fire escape chimed. She stalled. A fist against the door confirmed it was neither cat nor another four-legged animal.
Pound, pound, pound.“Cross, I know you’re in there.”
Falco.Sadie gritted her teeth. She was not going to answer his questions tonight.
She started forward once more, and the pounding began again.
“We know you were working with Walsh more closely than you told us,” he said, the hushed accusation leaching through the wood of the door.
Sadie turned around and moved toward the sound.
“I understand,” Falco said, his voice softer now, “what it must have taken for you to trust him.”
She pressed her forehead against the cool wood surface and closed her eyes. He couldn’t possibly.
“I just need to understand what he was doing. It’s the only way we can find his killer. You know that, Cross. You have to help us. We can’t help you unless you help us. You can count on Devlin and me. You know that.”
Sadie twisted around until her back was against the door, then tipped up the bottle and guzzled another deep swallow. With the fire burning in her gut, she slid down the door until she folded into a heap on the floor.
“Go away, Falco. I don’t need your help. Or Devlin’s.”
“We know about Naomi Taylor. We found Walsh’s working notes at her house. We need to understand what the pieces mean, Cross.”
Join the fucking crowd.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” she lied. Anything to get him gone. She needed peace. Darkness. Quiet.
“What time tomorrow?”
Sadie gritted her teeth. “Just go, Falco, before I change my mind.”
He knew she would too. There were only a handful of people, and several of those were dead, who understood her. Falco was one of them. He even knew a few of her secrets.
But not all of them.
Hell, she didn’t even know all of them.
“Tomorrow, Cross. I need to hear from you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
