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“Do what?”
Her shoulders lift before she turns to look at me. “Hurt one another the way we do. Continue to try, even with the pain we’ve single-handedly etched into one another’s hearts. We’re pain, Brooks.”
“We’re in love!” I scream in desperation, hating the way she wraps everything around her in negativity. Certain it's the only way life can feel. “And sometimes it’s ugly,” I grit. “It’s painful and confusing and erratic and ambivalent.”
A low growl unfurls in my throat, and I force my eyes to close on a steady breath.
“But through all that shit,” I speak lowly. “It’sus.Brooks and Henley. Always.” I step closer. “I love you so hard my heart aches when we’re apart.”
“Yet you continue to leave.”
“I have a job.” I rub my forehead. “One that I need to give us the life we deserve.”
“I’ve lived rich. Money only causes heartache. Look at Jacinta. She lied my whole adolescence, for what? A paycheck?”
“I’m a grown-ass fucking man, Henley. I’m not gonna live week to week. I want a fucking life. I want to give you stability. A place you can finally call fuckinghome. I want us to have a family. We can’t do that living in hostels and shithole motels while you pull beers.”
She ignores me.
“You sent me an email. You were gone formonthslonger than we agreed, and you sent me an email.”
“I was on a boat,” I groan. “In the middle of the freaking ocean. The shoot got delayed. We hit land for a hot minute to refuel and resupply. I called,” I accuse. “You didn’t answer. I sent you an email with the world’s shittiest internet. I’ve apologized. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
“It’s not words that I care for. You tell me you love me. You tell me your heart aches when we’re apart. But your actions show me that you love your job more.”
I sigh. “This was not how this was supposed to go.”
She barks out a laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry. Was I supposed to fall at your feet? Were we supposed to be so consumed with relief at seeing one another, we’d tear one another’s clothes off in a cloud of lust?”
Still, always so fucking peculiar.
“Of course, I want to fuck you, Henley.” I throw my hands up. “I love you. I miss you, and quite frankly, I have fucking needs.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“I just want to feel close to you.”
“Funny way of showing it. How’d yourneedsgo on that boat for all those months? You have a newGraceto keep you warm?”
My fists clench involuntarily. “You don’t mean that.”
She steps toward me, a cruel smirk twisting her lips. “Did you fuck someone else, Brooks? You are acheater,after all.”
The tone of her voice peaks and stumbles. She doesn’t believe what she’s saying. Ihaveto believe she doesn’t think I could do that to her.
“You don’t believe that,” I say, needing it to be true.
Her eyes don’t blink. Wide enough, I can see the small red lines threaded through her sclera.
“What about you?” I test. “You’ve crossed a good many lines yourself with me. Liquored-up, surrounded by everything with a cock.”
“Jealous?” she taunts.
“Of course I’m fucking jealous,” I bellow. “You’re mine.”
“I don’t belong to you!” she yells. “I belong to no one.”
I pace back and forth, needing to move for fear I’ll throw something if I don’t. “Would that be so bad, to be mine?”
