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I shove my hands in my pockets and mutter, “I never asked for that.”
“You didn’t have to. But you had to expect it would happen. They’ve always been different with you. It’s not a bad thing, but you’re different than Addie and me.”
“Is there a point to this?”
His next exhale is longer than usual. “Yes. There is, smartass. Open the damn door.”
When I do, the sight of my childhood bedroom makes my head swim. An explosion of emotions, both confusing and familiar, hits me when I take in the new posters and newspaper articles that clutter the black walls.
“When did Mom start doing this?” I step into the room, walking toward the wall that has my first printed poster hung on it. It’s in a glass frame above my bed.
“Mom didn’t do this.”
The second frame has a photo of me playing in the backyard for Adalyn’s sixteenth birthday. I force my eyes off it and turn to Maddox, suddenly too fucking curious.
“Was this you, then?”
He shakes his head, mouth pulling into a sad smile. “It was Dad.”
“Don’t,” I warn, the word coming out venomous.
“It’s true.”
My tongue is heavy in my mouth. I don’t reply.
“You might think he doesn’t love you, Noah, but he does. You two hurt each other, and neither of you knows how to make it right. Maybe you don’t even want to. But eventually, this has to come to a head. And when it does, please don’t run. If anything, please just fix this for the rest of us,” he pleads.
I struggle to do more than nod. He knocks his knuckles on the wall and nods back.
“Right, well, come up when you’re ready. Just take a look around and try to start believing that you aren’t as unloved as you believe you are. I, for one, love the shit out of you, little bro.”
The blow from those words makes me rock back on my heels. I swallow past the dryness in my throat and open my mouth. Nothing comes out. Maddox doesn’t seem offended by my silence, but even if he was, I don’t think he would have said anything.
He walks out a beat later, and I reach up to grab the back of my head, feeling too many emotions. I don’t know how to sort through them.
I stand there and suffocate instead.
19
TINSLEY
I bouncemy leg under the table and try to join in the tense conversation Braxton is having with Oakley and Ava. Liam is blabbing a string of words that don’t really sound like words, and I want to grin at him but can’t bring myself to. I’m far too anxious to relax in that way.
“You should have been the one to take Noah downstairs, Oakley,” Ava reprimands her husband. The sight of her tired, red eyes makes my heart ache.
“He didn’t want anything to do with the idea of going anywhere with me when I mentioned it the other day. Maddox needs the time with him just as much as I do,” he replies. Is he trying to convince himself of that as much as he is the rest of us?
“That’s not true,” I butt in. Three sets of eyes are flung in my direction. I grow taller in my chair and hold Oakley’s gaze. “He may need Maddox, but he needs you more. I know you’re not naïve enough to believe Noah will ever come back to you on his own. If you don’t take that first step, soon there won’t be anything left of your relationship to come back to.”
He flinches at my words before scrubbing a hand down his face. When it falls to his lap, his mouth is downturned in a heavy frown.
“It’s not that easy,” he says.
Fire ignites in my gut. “You’re right. And it shouldn’t be easy. This is your son we’re talking about. He’s worth the effort, don’t you think?”
“She’s right. I miss our son, Oakley. I miss him so much,” Ava whispers.
Pain slashes across Oakley’s face as he looks at his wife. Remorse is heavy in his stare. Some wicked part of me likes seeing it.Maybe now, he’ll actually fix this.
