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And that feeling of all-consuming emptiness that never went away.
Added to that, the fact that my father now refused to take my calls had caused the rest of my barely intact world to crumble down like a sandcastle in the rising tide.
I’d never felt so utterly alone and hurt.
Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Thoughts of waking up in the cage came to mind.
I felt utterly alone and was hurting then, though it was another kind of hurt.
This time it was more internal, thrumming against my rib cage from the inside, squeezing my heart and my stomach to the point where I couldn’t even eat properly anymore—without throwing up.
“Soph’, you’re not fine, and neither am I. So, let’s stop pretending. Talk to me.”
“I miss him.” It was the first time I’d even acknowledged out loud that I was still thinking about Gabe.
“Tell me what happened between the two of you.”
“He kidnapped me, and I fell in love with him.”
“Aren’t you a bit…hasty using that word?” Fiona lifted her hand and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “You were together only a couple of days. Infatuation, sure, but love?”
I nodded, then sighed. “I know. Trust me. There’s nothing you can say that I didn’t tell myself. Stockholm syndrome, adrenaline rush, hero worship. I even researched how you develop an obsession.”
I laughed, a self-deprecating laugh because otherwise, I would start crying—and it wouldn’t help one bit. “I thought with distance and time, those feelings would go away.”
Fiona held my gaze. Her eyes shimmered with compassion. “But they didn’t go away. And now you’re pregnant.”
I smiled. “And now I’m pregnant.”
“Did you tell him?”
I shook my head. I thought about his business card, which I kept on me like my most prized possession. “He’s Italian Mafia. There’s no scenario on Earth where the two of us could have our happily-ever-after.”
Fiona nodded. “Yeah, if your father finds out, he’s dead within 24 hours.”
I didn’t often purposefully think about how exactly my father had held his position of power for so many years, but he probably wasn’t so different from Gabe’s brutal nature.
Images of Gabe killing his cousin flooded back into my mind, like an unwanted mental replay of a horror movie.
“He never harmed me.”
Fiona cocked her head again. “He kidnapped you and held you against your will.”
“But he cared for me. From the moment we met, he cared for me.”
“And yet, he didn’t let you go when you asked him to.”
I nodded.
She was right. I’d complained my whole life about being unable to escape the golden cage I was born into. How could I long to be back in Gabe’s room—trapped and unable to escape?
“What can I do to make things better?” Fiona asked.
I cocked my head and smiled at her. The fact she was even asking, helped. The fact that she, despite her own misery and depression, was being compassionate was enough. “Talking about it all helps.”
She nodded.
There were demons in her eyes. Demons she hadn’t been able to exorcise since Italy. The situation with her parents and their lack of caring had been an issue before. Fiona’s situation was the polar opposite of mine. While my father was overprotective to the point of locking us girls up, her parents were borderline neglectful.
