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Something in his voice makes me look up at him, and when I see the sorrow in his eyes, the truth suddenly hits me.
My father doesn't see me.
He sees my mother.
He thinks I'm her.
Jack was wrong. He hasn’t been waiting for me. He’s been waiting for her.
"Oh Aoife, my sweet girl, my love. I've missed you so," my father says, a single tear sliding down his cheek as he looks at me and sees the only woman he ever loved.
I drop my head, tears filling my eyes knowing that even in his last moments I was never on his mind. For years I've wished that he would be different towards me. Had a small part of me hoped that in his last moments we could make peace? Of course I had.
But I'm not cruel enough to correct him. I am my mother's daughter after all. All I can do is offer him some small measure of comfort during this last moment that we have together.
"I've missed you too," I say, my voice cracking.
It's not a lie. I've missed the father he was supposed to be. I've missed the laughter we should've shared. I've missed the companionship of a man who was supposed to teach me things, and provide me with knowledge. I've missed the arms of a father who cared whether I laughed or cried. I've missed a dad.
"Is it time to go home now?" he asks, the light slipping from his eyes with every word that passes through his lips.
"If you're ready, then yes, it's time to come home to me," I say softly.
Jakub's fingers tighten on my shoulders and I almost break at the tenderness and love I feel emanating from him. But I don't break.
I remind myself why I'm here.
To say goodbye to my father, to my past, to the family I never felt I belonged to.
After this moment I'm ready to move forward and make a family of my own with Arden, Lorcan and Carrick.
I'm ready to meet my mother's family and form a bond with them.
I'm ready to find happiness, to surround myself with laughter and friends, love and happiness. I’m ready tolive.
"I'm ready," my father whispers, echoing my thoughts as his strength fades with every rasping breath.
"Take my hand. Come home to me, Niall," I say, being my mother for him, giving him peace in his last moments as I move closer to him on the bed.
He takes hold of my hand and pulls it onto his chest where I can feel the unsteady thump of his heart beneath my palm, each beat getting further and further apart.
"You were always my beating heart," he mutters, and then with one last shuddering breath his hand slips from mine, and he's gone.
26
Carrick
Two weeks later
“The dining room’s that way,” Cyn says with a smile as I grab the tray of drinks from her hand and settle it on the side table in the hallway, before snatching her against my chest in a rough kiss.
“I know that,” I reply, smiling against her lips and reaching down to grab her arse, the silky material of her knee length dress sliding over her skin. “I’ve been hard all night, Cyn. Watching you give your attention to all those men.”
“All those men?” she replies, amusement in her voice. “Grim and Christy are here too. And those men you’re referring to are my family andourfriends.”
“I don’t like sharing you,” I mutter against her mouth, before sliding my tongue between her lips and kissing her laughter away.
“We both know that isn’t true,” she replies, her hands reaching up and cupping my cheeks as she pulls back, smiling at me.
