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“Afewmore?” I sob, tears streaming down my face as I feel another bastard contraction tightening my belly in a vice-like grip. “We’ve been at this for hours… Ican’tdo this anymore.”
“Yes, you can!” Zayn and Dax reply simultaneously, resolute in their belief in me.
I’m not so bloody certain. I’m exhausted beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. Utterly and completely spent.
“Can’t I have a caesarean?” I stutter out, pain wrapping around my middle as my belly goes rock hard once again. I swear there are no lamaze classes that prepare you for this kind of pain. Throughout my pregnancy I was convinced I’d breeze through labour like one of those incredible earth mums who meditate and breathe through the pain like a goddamn champ. I was fucking wrong. I’m a screaming, sweaty, swearing mess, and about as far from an earth mother as one person can get.
“I’m afraid not, Penelop–Pen,” Janice says, correcting herself. “It’s too late for that now. Baby’s coming. This time I need you to really push with all your might, then when I tell you to pant, you pant okay.”
Right on cue, Dax and Zayn start panting, and if I weren’t in so much pain, I’d laugh at how ridiculous they both look. Ridiculousandcute. That thought is soon overtaken by another body crushing contraction.
“OH. MY. GOD!” I scream, as I automatically put my chin to my chest, and curl my spine, baring down with one almighty scream that I’m sure is scaring all the other mothers and their partners in the other labour rooms on this ward.
“Pen, I need you to remember your breathing. Stop pushing and pant for me, the baby’s head is coming. The worst part is almost over,” Janice instructs, as she reaches between my legs. I’m so numb down there, I have no idea what she’s doing.
Panting, I look to Dax and Zayn for reassurance, but both of them are looking between my legs. A sob escapes Dax’s lips and tears spring into Zayn’s eyes.
“It’s really happening,” York mutters, craning around Janice to look at our baby emerging from my beaten up vagina. If my head wasn’t filled with the rushing pulse of my heartbeat, I could’ve sworn he then says, “Look how the head twists. It’s like something out of the Exorcist movie…”
Xeno swats him, hissing, “Shut up, man. Tiny does not need to hear that shit.”
“What did York just say?” I ask between pants. “Am I birthing a demon?”
“No, shit! No!” Dax shakes his head, pressing a kiss to my temple. “You are giving birth to the most beautiful, incredible, little girl. York is just freaking out right now. He’ll be okay once the baby is here.”
“I think I’m going to pass out,” York mutters in response.
“Oh god,” I pant. “He’s going to pass out!”
“Xeno, keep an eye on York,” Zayn demands, then squeezes my hand, drawing my attention back to him. “And you keep focussed on me, okay?”
“Keep panting, Pen. The head is almost out,” Janice orders.
“I’m… scared,” I reply between short, sharp pants, more tears trembling on my lashes as I feel her head emerge.
“Don’t be scared, we’re here. We’ve got you,” Zayn adds fiercely, stroking my hand, then croaks, “The baby’s head is out, Pen. She’s so fucking beautiful.”
“Do you want to feel the baby’s head?” Janice asks me as I meet her gaze in a momentary reprieve from the pain.
“I can do that?” I stutter out, my whole body shaking with adrenaline.
“Sure you can. Help Pen sit forward,” she instructs Dax and Zayn, who each wrap an arm around my back, gently helping me up. “Now reach between your legs.”
With shaking hands, I reach downwards. Janice gently takes my hand, and my fingers graze across a soft head, tiny strands of hair covering her scalp.
“She has hair,” I say, choking on the words as Dax and Zayn settle me backwards.
“So much hair,” Dax agrees, smiling through his tears.
But I have no time to settle in that moment as more pain begins to build. Instead, I kind of fall into myself, the pain is still intense, but knowing she’s almost here, and knowing I have a responsibility to bring her safely into the world, I draw on the last reserves of my strength, determined to give birth to our little girl.
“Okay, the next contraction is coming,” Janice says, the determination in her features matching the determination in my heart.
I nod, conserving all my energy for one last almighty push.
“It’s time to push, Pen. Give it everything you’ve got, and your little girl will be here.”
Chin to chest, my hands gripping Zayn’s and Dax’s, I press my eyes shut, take a deep breath, then bare down with all might.
