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I stood slowly and went to the wall to flip the switch for the exterior lights, and the entire backyard lit up like a carnival.
“What is that?” Sadie asked with the ghost of vulnerability surfacing.
Chapter Five
Sadie
The entire woods behind his home sprang to life like it was daylight.
Staring back at us was a giant black bear who started backing up.
“It’s been tagged. We were catching the light from the metal on its ear.”
It felt like the most significant weight had been lifted from my shoulders as he flipped the lights off to leave the bear alone.
“When did you install the exteriors to the forest?”
Zack scratched his chin and took a seat back at the table. “A few weeks back. I wanted patio lighting, and then I was like, why stop there?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Sounds about right. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing I feel knowing it’s just a black bear. Like, that is what my life has come to. I’m relieved a bear is staring at me for dinner.”
Zack laughed. “Yeah. That says a lot.”
The look in his eyes told me he was as worried as I was, which was precisely what I’d wanted to avoid. I was so tired of my problems becoming his problems.
It was one of the reasons I started taking Jiu-Jitsu. I didn’t want to feel like I needed to be protected. I wanted to take care of problems myself.
Yet, here I was at my ex’s house, and he protected me.
“Does it just come naturally?” I asked.
“What?” he asked, taking another bite of dinner.
“Playing the hero.”
He put his fork down and shook his head. “I’ve never wanted to be a hero. I just want to help people.”
I nodded, debating whether to share what I’d been thinking about these last several weeks. I’d been through so much, and my story had a happy ending. More and more, I felt like I should do something about that and help others rather than sink into my fear.
“I do, too, actually.” I took a deep breath. “Putting stalker bears aside, I feel like there has to be some purpose to what I went through, even if I’m the one who needs to find it.”
Zack nodded slowly. “I get that. What have you been thinking about?”
This was why I loved Zack so profoundly. The conversation just flowed. He had a genuine interest in me. But we had all this baggage and suffering between us, and I knew that I needed separation between my partner and my trauma.
I looked away as I fidgeted. I hadn’t voiced these new dreams aloud. “I would love to find a way to create a place where people can go to heal, like maybe a farm or an animal sanctuary.” I laughed and brought my gaze to his. “But first, I need to go back to college. I want to become a therapist.”
“You never cease to amaze me, Sadie.” He tapped his finger on the table and smiled.
“I haven’t done it yet, Zack.”
His smile grew. “No, but you dared to dream it.”
I straightened in my chair and suddenly felt as crazy as my thoughts were, that maybe there was a piece of my idea that could come true. “First, I just need to get Carmella back where she belongs.”
“Agreed.” His jaw tensed, and I noticed the same look of disgust that would wash over his face whenever Carmella was brought up.
“Anyway, that’s my hope… that someday, I can buy a huge piece of property in New Hampshire or somewhere and welcome people to heal.”
