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Run, run, run, it howls in my mind, just like it has my entire life. I’ve run from commitment in every form for as long as I can remember. My friendships are shallow when you get right down to it. Liam is helping me because we served together. We bled together. That’s a brotherhood unique to the military, but apart from that, I keep myself detached.
Jackal has been my closest friend for years, but he deserves better. I take him on missions where he could get hurt, telling myself it’s okay because safety precautions are in place. Does that really make it better?
As I start the engine, I imagine my dad sitting in the backseat. “You’re giving yourself an excuse to be a coward. Oh, poor Jackal. Oh, poor Sam, never able to make friends. Please, kid. The simple fact is you’re a coward, and you want to run. You haven’t got what it takes to be a man and stand by your woman. It’s as simple as that.”
I drive, knowing he’s right and that if I were a better man, I’d stop this car right now and surge across the city. I’d kick in the door to the police station and demand to see my woman. Then I’d pull her into my arms and hold her tightly, telling her I’m so sorry for what happened to her dad. I’m so sorry for ever thinking about leaving.
I’d tell her that even when I wanted to run away, I always loved her. I’ll never stop loving her. Even if I never saw her again, my love would burn hot forever. I just wish telling her that didn’t turn me into ice on the brink of cracking.
CHAPTER 23
Katy
I emerge from the police station after giving my statement, still struggling to believe I didn’t just hallucinate all of that. When Paul said it, it was as if the years melted away, and I was back there, staring at him. He wasn’t wearing a leather jacket then. His hair was longer and fuller, but it’s him.
I’m on shaky legs as I walk down the smooth concrete path lined with potted plants, the sun still glaring down and the day seeming too bright. Sam snapped like his true feelings were coming out, his whole body throbbing with muscle, with intent. He called me his woman. He would’ve killed Paul for me.
Yet when we were texting, I sensed something was off. He seemed determined to keep everything surface level. Where the heck is he?
“Katy.” I look up to find Mom rushing to me, wearing a shirt spattered with paint and a lilac bandana, looking so her, so healthy and tough. I collapse against her and start crying. “My Katy, my sweet girl.”
I’m supposed to be the strong one, but I can’t hold it together anymore. I push my face into her chest and sob. “Mommy, Mommy.”
I don’t care if I sound like a kid. I don’t care about anything except clinging onto my mother and letting the pain scorch through me. She strokes her hand through my hair and holds me tight.
“Miss Jones,” a man says from beside us.
“It’s Mrs.,” Mom turns, gesturing at a tall man wearing a plain black T-shirt. He has silver hair, like Sam, and a similar build, but his eyes are a different color. His face is more serious, with no smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.
“I’m sorry, Liam.”
“No apology needed, ma’am,” he says.
“This is a friend of Sam’s,” Mom says.
My phone vibrates in my pocket.
“Where’s Sam?” I ask.
“Check your phone,” Liam says. “I’m sure he’s texted you by now.”
“I don’t get it, Mom.” I take out my phone. “You know this guy?”
“He turned up at the apartment. He had complete access. He showed me photos of him and Sam together, along with a video message from Sam, explaining he could be trusted.”
“But where is Sam?”
I stare at the text message from Sam. It comes with an attached photo of his friend. This is Liam. He’s the man I was working with out west. He’s a standup guy and one hell of an operator. I’ve asked him to watch over you and your family while I’m away.
But where are you? I reply, thumbs moving fast.
I watch as delivered becomes seen, and then… nothing. I keep staring, but nothing happens.
“Where is he?” I whisper, my voice breaking, remembering what he called me—his woman. I’ve never felt so special. “Liam?”
“I’m sorry, miss,” he says.
“You were in the SEALs with Sam, right?”
He nods.
“You fought together?”
He nods again. “Many times.”
“Then call me Katy, please.”
Mom rolls her eyes. “I’ve told him to call me Angela a hundred times. There’s no use.”
Liam smiles faintly.
“Where is he?” I ask, sighing.
“He told me he needed space. He asked if I’d keep you all safe.”
“Safe from what?”
“Retaliation from Eli’s son,” Mom says. “That’s what he said in the video.”
