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A thrill shimmers through me, so bright my soul feels like it’s sparkling. We don’t have to commit to anything.
I’m committing everything right now, he replies. Every single moment. Every breath. Everything I can give you, I’m going to give you. A ring. A house. A life. You’ll give me children. You’ll give me loyalty.
You already have it, I send, and I can’t wait to have babies with you.
Oh yeah? How many?
L-O-L (as the kids say)… I thought you were fixing the car.
I’m about to, but this is important.
I want maybe three or four or five, I send. I’d like for them to look out for each other. I want them to have the loyalty you and Liam have. In the car, I asked him to explain why you left, but he wouldn’t. I don’t think he ever would.
Our children will have that. Brotherhood. Sisterhood. Commitment.
I want to make it so they never have to suffer like we did, I reply. No addiction. No pain.
A child needs challenges, he replies, but they should be manageable and humane. They’ll never go through what we went through.
They’ll be tough. We’ll make sure of that. I’m getting into the flow of this now. But we won’t make life harder than it needs to be.
I can’t wait. We need to start trying. If you want to wait to give yourself to me, you better warn me now. I’ll need to calm myself down before I see you.
He’s giving me the perfect chance to tell him I need to take it slow. I’ve got every reason to, considering what I learned today. My dad’s killer. The fight. The fear. He wouldn’t have any right to push me, and I don’t think he ever would.
The truth is, my body hurts just thinking about telling him no. Nerves try to twist around my conviction and tell me I’m a virgin. I’ll make a fool… But no, that’s weak. That’s fear. I can’t live like that.
Maybe I don’t want you to calm yourself down, I write, then lean over, open the drawer, and take out the handcuffs. Perhaps I’ll even leave a little surprise for you at the end of the bed, and whatever happens, happens.
You’re being coy, my perfect virgin.
A woman needs her honor, right?
You’re filling me with a whole lot of dishonorable thoughts, he replies.
I bite my lip and don’t try to stop it. I let myself feel the lust gripping hold of me.
You better focus on getting that car fixed.
There’s no use writing “I should be there” again, but I’ll be there soon. Try to get some rest. When you wake up, I’ll be there. I’ll be with you. After that, I’m never leaving you.
I put the handcuffs on the end of the bed. It’s such a big mattress that I still have plenty of room to lie down without risking knocking them off. I roll onto my side and close my eyes, the inside of my eyelids suddenly becoming a vivid light show of the future.
There’s a laughing child with their hand buried in a dog’s fur. Then my man, no longer the phantom from my dreams but real, scoops the child up and kisses them on the head. A happy bundle of love wraps their arms around Sam’s shoulders.
I sink deeper into the fantasy, doing my best to ignore the small voice inside telling me I’m not that sort of woman. Not the sexy kind. Not desirable. Stocky and tough when I need to be, sometimes, but not hot. Sam has already proven me wrong. He’s speeding home to get steamy again, but we won’t stop this time.
CHAPTER 26
Sam
Once again, I’m stalking up the hallway. Unlike last time, Jackal is at my side. He leads the way, walking with slick movements. It’s the dead of night, really early morning, and everything is quiet, except for… But Angela, her mother, said she wasn’t ready to talk to me.
Just give me a minute. I should stop. I know this doesn’t seem right until I know it’s okay, but I can’t stop. I can’t even try, not with my woman.
Jackal nudges his way into the bedroom, and I follow, forcing myself to breathe slowly so I don’t leap on her the moment I see her. I can’t do anything like that with Jackal here. I’ve got to tame the beast inside, at least for now, if I can. Jackal climbs onto the bed and nuzzles her. She opens her eyes, a gorgeous smile spreading across her face, tucked up in bed with her hair across the pillow.
“Hello, boy,” she whispers, then looks up at me. “Hello, Sam.”
“Katy,” I whisper, my voice gravelly as I try to hold it all back. “I’ve booked us a hotel room. Give me a few minutes to settle Jackal, and…”
And your mom.
