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* * *
She wanted to curl her arms around his neck and climb his body until she could wrap her legs around his hips, to hold him there, tight against her, the feel of him hard against her core. He tasted like heaven. He tasted like the sweetest treat she’d ever known. He tasted of desire and sexy, steamy nights.
He tasted of twelve years of craving.
And he tasted of rules that shouldn’t be broken, of everything she wanted and everything she couldn’t have.
As if he’d stolen every last breath from her, she had to step back just to drag in a lungful of air before she drowned in him.
They were both breathing hard.
She’d been so deep in those memories of that day. When there’d been no need to resist. When there’d been no need for rules. When there’d been nothing but the feel of him, the taste of him, the scent of him.
But that day had been left behind long ago.
* * *
He wanted her. He also knew how easily he could push her away forever. Needing something or someone this much always brought disappointment.
But he had to fix it. Right now. Before she left him because he’d overstepped. “I’m so sorry. That was totally inappropriate.”
She rolled her lips together, swallowed, her eyes too wide, too stark. Finally, she said, “I’m sorry too. It breaks all the rules.”
Who had thought up their idiotic rules? Was it him? Was it her? But the rules were the reason the two of them had been able to work together for so long in the most symbiotic relationship he’d ever known.
She spoke again, saying things he didn’t want to hear but needed to anyway. “Our rules matter. We can’t change them now, especially not when we’re in the midst of the most important project of our careers.”
He wanted to argue. Something in him said the rules just didn’t ring true anymore. She’d needed the job to give her the wherewithal to care for Lochlan.
But Lochlan was no longer here.
Didn’t that mean the reason for the rules no longer existed?
“I mean, we can’t throw it all out now.” Was that desperation in her voice? “I mean, it would be throwing away everything we’ve worked so hard for.”
Would it be so bad to let themselves go?
“I mean, the rules enabled me to help my uncle. And they made everything about our relationship work. I mean…” She finally stopped.
I mean. She kept saying that, as if she was trying to convince herself as much as him. And he saw then, without a doubt, that if he pushed, she absolutely would run. She needed her rules. As sweet as that kiss had been, the rules were truly what kept them together. And if he blew them up, he might blow up his life and this crucial relationship.
You always want too much from people, Dane.
Even as his throat wanted to close around the words, he had to force them out. “You’re right. You’re right about everything.”
In a voice that threatened to tear them apart, she said, “We’ve been here for three days, and we’ve got a ton of material. Why don’t we head home, where I can collate all of it and put together our presentation for the Mavericks?”
Metaphorically, she was running, even if he hadn’t destroyed the rules.
* * *
How many times did she need to go over all the reasons why an affair with Dane was a really bad idea? Over and over, obviously.
Even that didn’t work when she thought about his lips on hers, his taste filling her mouth, filling her entire being. His scent was like a drug to her senses. No man had ever been as potent for her. Even as she packed her bag, alone in her room, the scent of him still mesmerized her, and his kiss still steamed her up.
So she had to go through all her reasons. Again.
It would end badly.
They would lose their friendship.
She would lose her job.
Nothing would ever be the same between them once it was over.
Her life would change irrevocably, and she couldn’t stand another change. Not now. Not right after losing Uncle Lochlan.
But still, she couldn’t help craving one more kiss, one more night, one more moment of pleasure.
A pair of silk panties in her hands, she had the most awful thought. Dane hadn’t even fought her when she’d said they shouldn’t forget the rules. And he’d been the first to apologize. So why did he kiss me in the first place?
On the heels of that, another horrible thought rammed its way in. Was she the one who’d kissed him first? Was that why he’d immediately apologized? Oh God, she couldn’t remember how it happened.
She could only remember wanting him, being in his arms, kissing him.
It was only a kiss, yet it tore her apart. Without Dane, without this job, she had nothing. She didn’t even have her uncle anymore.
