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I sat on the bed with a sigh. Damien joined me, eyebrows twitching together in concern. “Talk to me, baby. What are you feeling?”
I still wasn’t entirely used to being called “baby” by Damien. It felt different, but not in a bad way. The complete opposite—it made my heart start to race in my chest.
“I’ve just been thinking too much,” I said, beginning to crack under Damien’s stare. I didn’t want to spill out all my guts because some of it had to do with him. But I could tell by the set in his jaw that he wasn’t going to let this one go. “I’ve been thinking about how all of this can be avoided if I just… if someone… well, if someone just kills me.”
There.
I said it.
I looked directly ahead, finding a spot on the blue-and-silver wallpaper that appeared to be slightly chipped, revealing a sliver of wall underneath.
“Robby, we’ve talked about this.” Damien’s tone shifted, became more tense. “I don’t want to have this discussion again.”
“But if that’s how the curse is broken, then we have to consider it. I can’t just be walking around knowing that I’m the reason there won’t be any dragons—besides you guys—left in a few months. I can’t handle that.”
“We don’t know that killing you breaks the curse,” Damien repeated. It was the same answer over and over again, but it didn’t solve any of my worries.
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “We can’t be selfish about this, Damien. We can’t ignore what the prophecy said.”
“I’m not ignoring anything.” His hand balled into a fist on his lap. I could see him grinding his teeth. “I’m keeping you safe. That’s what matters to me right now.”
“If people, other dragons, if they find out…”
“I don’t give a fuck what happens if others find out. Like I said, we don’t know that killing you breaks the curse, and neither does anyone else. No one knows how this shit really works.”
“There’s one way to kno—”
“Enough!” Damien stood, towering over me. The force of his shout nearly pushed me back onto the bed. I could see heat radiating off his shoulders, anger flushing his cheeks a bright crimson. I’d never seen him look like this. Chest puffed and stare full of sharp daggers.
Shit… had I gone too far?
Chapter 28
Seeing Red
Damien
Robby’s words had made me irrationally angry. I could see that I was blowing up for something that deserved a more levelheaded conversation, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. This stress, this pressure, this intense desire to make sure not a single hair on Robby’s head was harmed. Killing him to end the curse wasn’t an option I would ever consider. Even bringing it up made me boil inside.
Ever since that moment in the magic shop, when we met for the first time, Robby and I had become entwined. I could see that now, clear as day. Our connection went much deeper than anything I’d ever felt before, than any relationship I had ever had.
“I can’t even think about it, Robby. A world without you isn’t a world I want to be in. And I know how that makes me sound. I know you must see me as some selfish creature, but I can’t—I won’t lose anyone else.” A swell of emotion rose up and got lodged in my throat. I successfully swallowed it down, coughing into a tight fist. I ignored the tears that began pricking at the corners of my eyes. This had been built up for a while, and it was finally time to bust down the dams.
“I don’t think you’re selfish,” Robby said in barely a whisper.
“I do. I know that if anyone outside of this family were to find out, they’d think the same thing.” I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. I felt like a pressure cooker. I wanted to shout, to roar, to turn to my dragon and burn this world down for being unfair, for constantly wanting to take, take, take. I didn’t want to give anything else up. “I feel shame, Robby.” A sob got caught in my throat. “It’s putrid, it’s horrible. I feel like I’m horrible, thinking of all those families currently being ripped apart one by one, dragons turning to dust. But I also can’t take on that responsibility. Who am I to consider myself the savior of all dragonkind? Why do we have to make the ultimate sacrifice?”
Robby looked out the window. The afternoon sun sat high in a cloudless sapphire sky. “I don’t know the ‘why,’ Damien, and I don’t think anyone ever will. But I do know that you aren’t horrible.” He huffed out an exasperated breath. “Fuck, we’re talking about taking my life here. How can I ever think you’re horrible for not wanting to do that?” He dropped his head in his hands, starting to cry, much more than the few tears that slipped down to my chin. I immediately went to his side, sitting down on the edge of the bed with him.
