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All my life, I had floated through the world in a bubble. It had been a way to protect myself, to protect my happiness. I had bounced off problems and challenges, retaining what kept me happy and hopeful and slightly naive.
Guess I had to find that pointy edge eventually. The bubble popped. The blade found its mark, plunging through the mirror and directly into my chest. Blood coursed down my shirt in warm rivers of crimson red. I blinked in shock. It didn’t hurt as badly as I thought it would. Neither did it hurt when I collapsed to the floor, my knees hitting the cold ground with a hard smack.
No.
The only thing that truly hurt, that rendered my soul in half, was the cry of desperate anguish that had ripped from Damien’s throat, his face twisted in an expression I’d never seen him wear.
Grief. Sudden, world-shattering, heart-crushing grief.
He came down to my level. Picked up my head. Put it in his lap.
The lights. They were getting brighter. My shirt. Warmer, wetter. The room grew colder. So cold. Not even my fire dragon’s heat could keep me warm. Damien sobbed, repeating himself. “I love you, Robby. I love you.” And then, “War! Heal him, someone, please!”
Warrick was by my side. The lights bloomed, the pain becoming more intense now. Voices were distant, as if I’d moved to another room. Warrick moved his hands over my body, and I could feel some of the pain push away, but it was getting harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t have the energy.
“It’s okay,” I rasped, gargled. The thick taste of iron filled my mouth. I coughed up blood, cleared my throat so I could speak. “We did it. We—saved the dragons.”
“You did,” Damien said, crying, hand on my chin, coming up to rub his forehead, tears streaming down his cheeks.
Damien’s blood-streaked face was the last thing I saw before my world went pitch-black.
Chapter 32
Thirsty
Damien
My vision tunneled on Robby, bleeding out.
My Robby. Blood. Everywhere. Some had gotten on my lips. So much blood. My Robby.
“Xavier, do something,” I spat at my brother, desperation clouding my thoughts.
“Damien…” He put a gentle hand on my shoulder. I shook it off. “You know I can’t bring someone back, even if I turn back time. And I didn’t see that dagger… it all happened too fast. I’m so sorry.”
Robby’s face went pale. His eyes began to take on a glossy expression, blood still trickling from his mouth. And I started to sob. Holding him. Pleading. Someone. Please.
Not again. Not now. We had done it. We had reached the end—we could have had it all. Now we had nothing. I’d have no one. Robby would be gone. Dead.
More tears racked my body. A rush of wind drew my attention upward. Benjamin stood with his eyes fixed on a dying—no, a dead—Robby. He wasn’t breathing. His chest no longer rose and fell, and his heart no longer beat, the dagger still impaled inside of it.
We were supposed to grow old together. Laugh together. I had so many jokes to make with him, so many memories to share with him. It had been a promise. I broke it. I fucking broke it. I couldn’t keep him safe, I fucked up, and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing but slam my fists against the ground. Nothing but shout out to a quiet god, nothing but feel like a complete, powerless fucking idiot.
I was helpless. Hurtling forward, being pushing in a direction I didn’t want to go. This was all wrong. Why? Why couldn’t I do something about it.
My Robby… we still had so much more left. I had dreamed about it all. And now, all I could see were his empty brown eyes, no longer honey gold. Empty. A sight I wanted seared from my memory, and one I knew—instantly, I knew—it would haunt me for the rest of time.
“Move,” Benjamin said, and I instantly realized why I shouldn’t.
“No.” The word flew out of me instinctually, even though I wanted to shout, “Yes! Do it! Bite him and bring him back!”
“Don’t be foolish,” Benjamin said. “We only have a few minutes before the lack of oxygen to his brain results in permanent brain death. Bringing him back won’t be an option then.”
It would be the ultimate selfish act. Handing Robby over to a life of blood and shadows, a life that never ended. All because I wanted him back. How could I ever forgive myself?
“I can’t allow that, not without knowing if he’d want to be brought back. It’s too big a burden.” The words felt like razor blades falling down my throat. The shock of the Matriarch’s death had made all the other vampires stop fighting, but I wanted to throw myself back into the fray and fight until I didn’t have a drop of blood left in my body. It was the only decision that made sense to me.
