Page 36 of Before I'm Gone


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“Oh, Kent. I’m so sorry.”

“Not on me, but with me.”

“Oh!” Palmer said, shocked.

“It gets worse,” Kent said.

“I can’t imagine how,” Palmer added. Kent chuckled, and she wondered what could make him laugh at a time like this.

“She’s pregnant. She says the baby is mine, but she’s also been seeing her husband, so I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh . . . wow, that’s a lot for someone to process in a day. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.”

“I just . . .” Kent pounded his fist into his thigh. “I really think that I hate her,” he said as he looked away. “Like, all she had to say when we met was that she and her husband had separated, and we could’ve kept things casual, but to lie . . .” He trailed off.

“‘Hate’ is such a strong word, Kent.” Palmer used to hate everything. The orphanage, the kids at school, her life. After three years of therapy, she’d learned there was a reason for everything. There was a reason her parents had put her up for adoption, and why kids were so mean to her in school. She couldn’t care less about those kids. She never thought about them. But Palmer did think about her family, more so recently, because she was out of time. Kent could help her find her family, if there was one out there for her.

“If she turns out to be the mother of your child, you don’t want to hate her for giving you the greatest gift of your life. You especially don’t want your child to know that you hated his or her mother at one point. Your girlfriend made a mistake, and I’m sure she’s distraught over it, and probably confused. Believe me when I say if I had the chance to be a parent, I’d be ecstatic.”

He sighed. “It’s what I feel. I thought we had a good thing going, and to find her like that, so helpless and with another man, I was beside myself. I couldn’t do my job. Like, I’m there to save lives, and then I see her trapped in the car with him. And when she wakes up, I’m so happy, and then for her to tell me the rest? I think what broke me was how worried she was about her husband. I get it, but it was like she stabbed me in the heart and then twisted the blade until she could cut a piece of me out.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to see her or have anything to do with her.”

Palmer mirrored the way he sat. “I think you’ll change your mind once the hurt has worn off and you’ve had time to process everything. What if the baby is yours?”

He shrugged. “She’s married, and, according to the internet, her husband will show as the father on the birth certificate, although I’ve asked for a paternity test, so not sure what happens then. It’s a waiting game.”

“You might have to hire a lawyer, or at least talk to someone about your rights.”

“We have a program at work that can help me find someone. I’ve never had to use it before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.”

Palmer cinched her sweater tighter around her. “Are you cold?” Kent asked, and she nodded. He got up and went to the fireplace and turned the dial even higher and then held his hands over the vent to make sure it blew hot air. He stood there and looked at the framed picture on the mantel. It was Alcatraz.

“Have you been there?” Palmer asked.

“No, never had an inkling to go. It’s not on your list,” he pointed out.

“I haven’t finished my list. Honestly, it’s depressing knowing I’ll never go to half of those places, and yet I used to think I had all the time in the world.”

Kent reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper. He opened it and then handed it to her. “We’d be doing this for the both of us. I love to travel, and I’ve been to a lot of the states on your list. We’d see a lot of places together for the first time.”

Palmer took the paper from him and studied her words. He questioned why she’d put finding her family so far down the list when it should be at the top. Suddenly, she knew why. She was dying. What was she going to do? Have a glorious reunion with her long-lost mother or father and then say, Oh, by the way, I’m dying, but it was great to meet you?

Prospective tenants came into the lobby with someone from the management company. Palmer stood and asked Kent to come back to her apartment. They rode in the elevator in silence, but she noticed he stood next to her. He could’ve stood against either wall, but he took the spot on her left. When they arrived on her floor, he put his arm out to make sure the door didn’t suddenly close, and when they got to her door, and she opened it, he kept his palm flat on the door to keep it open.

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