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The reason for my email is to let you know Kent and I are leaving Missouri. I know we agreed to meet today, but I don’t know what else there is to say or what else you could tell me.
If you have questions about me or my life, please feel free to reach out or call Kent, he can fill you in. I say this, because what I’m about to tell you is going to be hard to process. You see, the reason Kent and I are on this trip is because we’re fulfilling a bucket list—a list I didn’t start to make until I was diagnosed with a grade IV glioblastoma. Almost two months ago, I was given six months to live. Finding my family was on my list and you’ve helped me check it off. I’m grateful to have met you, and I thank you for the box you gave me. I hope you have closure on what happened to me and can live the rest of your life knowing I’m okay.
Your sister,
Palmer
When Kent finished typing, he had tears in his eyes. “That was beautiful, yet hard to type.”
“She’ll probably be hurt.”
“Maybe, but you have to do things your way, not hers.”
Kent sent the email and then closed his laptop. They packed their things and left the room. Kent was halfway down the hallway when he noticed that Palmer wasn’t behind him. He turned and ran back to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I can hardly move, and everything hurts.”
He looked up and down the hall, and then finally went to their room and opened their door. He pulled the security lock forward to keep the door ajar and went back to Palmer and their things. “I’m going to put our stuff back in the room and then carry you to the car.” Palmer didn’t object.
Kent scooped her into his arms and carried her out through the lobby and into the parking lot. When they got to the car, he set her down. “Wheelchair from here on out,” he said as he unlocked the door.
“You’ve said that before.”
“I mean it this time.”
Kent held her hand while she climbed into the car. He was at the ready in case she staggered. He’d catch her. Palmer brought the visor down before he could shut the door. He watched her turn her face from side to side and poke at her cheeks. Her face was swollen as a result of the fluids building up. She turned slightly and pulled on her ear.
“You can’t see it,” he said.
“See what?”
“I’m assuming you’re looking for the octopus’s tentacle.”
“Don’t be silly,” she told him. Her smile spoke volumes. She was trying to make light of the situation.
He shut her door and went back to grab their stuff. Palmer let out a squeak when Kent opened the back of the car. “Are you lost in your head this morning?” he asked from the rear of the vehicle.
“Just looking for those tentacles.”
Kent chuckled. “If I see one, I’ll let you know.”
Once they were on the road, Kent pulled into a fast-food place and ordered their breakfast. He ate while he drove, and it didn’t go unnoticed that Palmer never touched her food. If he asked, she would say she wasn’t hungry, and the thought of eating made her stomach queasy. He’d let it slide for now, but later, he’d make sure she ate something; otherwise, she’d have no strength to do anything.
Kent turned on the playlist he’d created for her. She rested her head against the window and sang along. He would be forever grateful for Lana Del Rey and her music because it brought Palmer peace and soothed her.
Palmer cried while he drove, and he held her hand, hoping she understood that he was there for her, that he would do anything for her. As much as he wanted to know what her thoughts were, he couldn’t bear to ask. Her story broke his heart. She didn’t have anyone until he came along, and even then, he’d had to fight to be let into her life.
Hearing her sniffles broke him and reminded him of deployment and being in the field. His job then was to save his friends, his team. Palmer was a part of him now, and the one thing he couldn’t do was save her. But he’d do his damnedest to make her final days enjoyable.
Palmer screamed and held her head. Kent pulled over and gave her a couple of pills to take. He massaged her shoulders while she sobbed. It’d been days since she’d complained or shown any signs of how much pain she was in.
“I’m dying.”
THIRTY-THREE
Kent worried they were missing too much with Palmer’s insistence that they get to New Mexico. He was also troubled by Palmer’s mindset. It wasn’t healthy for her to accept that the end was near. Kent firmly believed people who wanted to fight the inevitable could, and it seemed like Palmer had given up.
