Page 46 of Risk the Fall


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And I wanted Rex to pay for it. My dad and uncle too. I didn’t know how to make that happen, but Christ, I wanted it. The truth of what they’d done sat heavy in my chest, a constant ache that wouldn’t go away, and it intensified every time I looked at Riven.

It took him about forty-five minutes inside the building, while I sat outside and stewed. I tried to bury my thoughts so I didn’t drag him down, but the second he got into the truck, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He cocked a brow, and I added, “It just pisses me off. It should be Rex going through this, not you. I hate knowing they won.” Hated that Riven suffered. That Riven was still suffering.

“Let it be, Parrish.” He gritted his teeth, and I knew I’d ruined the mood.

“How’d it go?” I asked, as if that was better than what we’d been talking about.

“He watched me piss in a cup, then wanted to make sure I was being a good boy.”

“I like it better when you’re a bad boy.” I pumped my brows playfully, and Riven smiled. His smiles made it feel like things were shifting around in my chest.

“You’re not smooth.”

“I beg to differ. I got you into bed, didn’t I?”

“I hadn’t fucked in six years. I was hard up.”

I chuckled. “Oh, it’s like that, is it? You’re gonna pretend you don’t love railing my ass? I sure as fuck enjoy it.” I’d always loved taking dick, but there was something special about taking Riv’s. I wanted it all the time.

“Jesus.” Riven reached down and adjusted his dick in his pants. His head dropped back, his eyes closed, the long column of his neck on display, making a memory hit me all of a sudden.

We’d been teenagers. Rex and Riven were going camping, and I’d begged to go along. Rex was being a dick and kept saying no, but Riven had said, “It’s not a big deal. Just let him come, man.” Then he’d looked at me and said, “Go pack your shit.”

We’d gone up one of the mountains to camp, just the three of us. Rex had gotten messed up on meth and was trying to get me to do it with him. I’d almost done it too, though I hadn’t tried drugs since the time Riven had flushed the coke, but Riv had snatched it away, taken a hit himself, then smashed the pipe so I couldn’t do it.

“You stupid motherfucker! Why did you do that?” Rex had said, shoving Riven. He’d almost fallen into the fire, but then the two of them had dissolved into laughter.

We stayed up all night. It was after three when they’d passed out, but I hadn’t so I could keep an eye on them. When I did spend time with my brother, it often became about me taking care of him. There was no reason I should have expected anything different that night. The only reason I’d wanted to go was…well, Riven.

A few minutes later, Riven had gotten up and come to sit on a rock beside me. I wasn’t even sure he’d really gone to sleep. It felt like he’d faked it.

“Don’t do that shit, Parrish. None of it. I’ll beat your ass if you do.”

“Fuck you. Why can you and Rex do it but not me?” My argument had lacked heat, though, because the truth was, I didn’t want to do that shit. I just felt like I had to.

Riven had taken a few deep breaths, then looked away. “Because we’re not anything special. We’ll never be. But you can be. You will be.”

I hadn’t responded, hadn’t known what to say. No one had ever told me I could be anything before, that I wasn’t shit just like Rex and my dad.

Riven had closed his eyes, dropped his head back, and breathed in. I noticed his neck then too. “I love camping. I’d live out here if I could.”

My mind was pulled back to the present as I took him in.

“Forget dinner. Let’s go camping this weekend.” I wanted to give him that, wanted him to be out in the fresh air, doing something he enjoyed. And maybe I was a selfish son of a bitch who just wanted him to myself.

“What? I don’t even know if I still have camping shit or where it is.”

“I have what we need. We don’t have to go far. Go camping with me, Riv. It’ll be fun.”

His hesitation was shorter than I expected. “All right.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Riven

I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Camping shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but to me, it was. It felt like giving another piece of myself to Parrish. When I’d gotten out, I hadn’t planned to ever get close to anyone again, hadn’t planned to connect with anyone, yet here I was, fucking the brother of the person who had gotten me thrown into prison. Going away with him for the weekend and…quietly being excited about it.

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