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My gaze found Betsy’s house, quiet and dark. Somehow, I knew he wasn’t there, like I would have felt him if he were.
I rushed back inside, tugged on a pair of shorts and my shoes, then ran toward the woods. “Riven!” I called out again, trying to silence all the what-if stories racing through my head. What if he was hurt? What if he was with my family? What in the hell would possess Riven to sneak out in the middle of the night? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.
I used the flashlight on my phone, wishing I had a brighter one, feet crunching the leaves while I called his name over and over and over again. Each step I took, each time I said his name, my heart sank deeper, the tightness in my limbs intensifying. Logically, I knew I had been looking for him for maybe five minutes, but it felt like a lifetime, like each second I lived a hundred lives.
“Riven!” broke free from my mouth again, in an almost strangled cry, when I saw a light coming toward me.
“Parrish?” My name sounded like a question, like he couldn’t figure out what I was doing out there, when he was the one who’d disappeared without a word.
“What the fuck are you doing out here in the middle of the night? Jesus, I was worried sick,” I snapped, anger overtaking my worry.
“I went for a walk. It’s not a big deal.” He started toward the house as if this was completely normal.
“You went for a walk in the woods at two in the morning? And you didn’t bother to tell me or seem to understand why that would scare the shit out of me if I woke up?”
“I didn’t mean to worry you, but as you can see, I’m fine. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” He took a step, and when I didn’t follow, he said, “Let’s go.”
“Oh, now you want to be home? Maybe I want to go for a walk too.” I couldn’t decide if I was blowing this out of proportion or not. The walk was one thing, but it was his attitude about it all that pissed me off.
“Let’s go home, Parrish.”
I pushed past him, back toward the house. Neither of us said a word, my anger seething beneath the surface with each step we took. The second we made it to the clearing around Betsy’s property, I turned on him. “What is your problem lately?”
“It’s late. I don’t want to do this tonight.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to take a hike through the woods in the middle of the night either.”
“No one asked you to do that!” he shouted. “Maybe I just needed to take a fucking breath without you up my ass all the time.”
His words felt like a punch to the gut. “Yeah, you wouldn’t want someone to give a shit about you, right? It’s a whole lot easier to wallow in the past that way.” I hated myself for the words the moment they cleared my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to take them back, to go back in time and not have said them. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I know you’ve been through a lot and—”
“I think you should go.” Riven went toward his apartment.
“Riven. I’m sorry. That was a low blow. I just… Something’s going on with you. I can feel it.” Feel him pulling away from me.
He tugged his cap off and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not used to this, having someone there all the time, having to tell them when I can’t sleep and want to go for a walk. I need some space to breathe. We’re together twenty-four seven.”
I swear his words crushed my heart, like a booted foot was on it, grinding it into the dirt. “Riv…you want me to go?”
“I don’t… I can’t…” He paced in front of the house, agitation rolling off him. “I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my whole fucking life. I just gotta sort through some things.”
I couldn’t pretend the words didn’t hurt, that they weren’t the complete opposite of what I would have said. “We’re supposed to be in this together. You’re holding back, and I don’t understand why.”
Without another word, I went into the apartment. Riven didn’t follow me as I dressed the rest of the way and grabbed a bag of my things.
He was outside smoking when I left, didn’t say a word when I stopped to look at him. With a sigh, I got into my truck and drove away.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Riven
I turned away from Parrish as he left, wanting with every fiber of my being to go after him, to jump into the truck with him and leave this fucking place for good. I belonged in bed with him, not standing out here ready to vomit because I’d been meeting Rex and Frank when Parrish had come looking for me. All I’d wanted was to get him away from them, for him not to get himself tangled in the shit I was going to do—shit that would no doubt get me thrown into prison again.
