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I thought about the way Parrish smiled at me, the way he treated me like I was something and made me believe it too. The feel of his lips pressed against mine, this man who remembered I liked camping and who slept under the stars with me and took me on dates fucking bowling.
I grinned.
I wanted that.
I wanted to protect it.
I wanted to protect him, but I also wanted to protect us.
And I didn’t want to be responsible for putting heroin into an already crumbling community. I didn’t want to add that to the meth and fentanyl already taking away so many lives.
I didn’t want to be Rex and Frank’s errand boy anymore.
I wanted to be around for the people who loved me.
I shoved the truck door open, stumbling out, inhaling fresh air into my lungs like this was the first time I had been able to breathe since Frank, Rex, Les, and Bill had shown up at my house that night.
What had I been thinking?
Maybe I could call Tom. Maybe there was a way he could help. I hadn’t done anything wrong yet. The idea of being a narc made my gut twist, but not as much as the alternative. Trusting wasn’t something I came by easily, and I wasn’t even sure I trusted Tom, but he was the best chance I had.
Reaching into the truck, I grabbed for my cell when I heard the footstep behind me, when the sound of a gun cocking echoed through my head.
“You were gonna pussy out, weren’t you?” Rex said.
I closed my eyes, knowing this was it. This was really what they wanted, wasn’t it? There was no deal, and if there was, I’d somehow end up a casualty of that—ex-con dead in a drug deal gone wrong. My grandma would think I’d gotten into dirty shit again. To others, I would just be another criminal getting what I deserved.
“Frank sent you to do his dirty work?” I asked, turning around. His pupils were wide, making me wonder if he was high.
“Nah, I volunteered for this shit. You know I never really liked you much, right? You were just easy—easy to get to do what we wanted, so fucking needy for attention.”
He kept the handgun trained on me, hate in his sneer, which I couldn’t wrap my head around. There was a time when he’d been my best friend. Was that all a lie, or had the world just turned him into an even uglier person?
“What I don’t get,” Rex went on, “is why everyone loves you so goddamned much. My dad, he used to like you. Considered you a son. Used to call me a fuckup and tell me you got shit done better. He’s awake to those lies now, but I know Bec still wants you, she’s just too scared to actually walk away from me.”
“Maybe if you treated her better, were a good father to your kids, you—”
“Fuck you, Riven! I’m the one in control now. Not you. Not Dad. Not Becca or Parrish or anyone else. Me!” He spit when he spoke, some of it dribbling down his chin. “We get to kill two birds with one stone today. Dad gets the drugs, I get to kill you, everyone is happy—well, except my little brother. This is gonna break his heart. It’ll be fun.”
“You leave Parrish the hell alone,” I warned, my voice cold.
“Or what? You’ll be dead. There’s nothing you can do about it. Jesus, Riven, what happened to you? You used to have a backbone. How long were you sitting in this truck, afraid to take care of business? I told Dad you wouldn’t go through with it. Where were you gonna go? Who were you gonna call?”
“That doesn’t matter, does it?” I said, holding my hands where he could see them. “I don’t care what you do to me, Rex, but don’t hurt them. If you ever gave a shit about me at all, leave Parrish and Grandma alone. Just let them live…let Becca go too. Parrish will take care of her and the kids. Let them get out of this shitty life we didn’t have a chance to escape from.”
“Fuck you. I can take care of my own girlfriend and kids. I don’t need Parrish to do shit for me!”
“It’s not for you. It’s for them. Can’t you see that?”
A flash of movement caught in my periphery. Before I had the chance to say anything or do anything about it, Parrish was running out from the woods, his body crashing into Rex’s, the two of them tumbling to the ground.
My heart lurched into my throat, or hell, maybe it had exploded in my chest. How in the fuck had he known where to find us? What was he doing here?
The world muted, dulled around me, except for the two of them, the time going too fast and too slow at the same time.
