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She looked at Cian. “I just didn’t sleep well last night, is all.” She pointed toward the TV. “How about we watch a movie? I’ll make some popcorn.”
By evening, her mind was a minefield. She finished putting away the food while Tharon helped the kids to bed. Her fingers shook as she moved, unable to contain her emotions anymore.
Tears broke free, and she gripped the counter. A sob formed, and she pulled a hand up to stifle it. Just then, she heard Tharon’s footsteps coming down the hallway.
She glanced up, and Tharon stood in the dining room, his eyes glued to her. He moved slowly as he walked toward her. “Mia, what’s wrong?”
She pulled a hand up, stopping him. She didn’t want him to hold her because if he did, she wouldn’t get her words out, and she needed to know. She spent the entire day questioning herself, and she was falling apart.
“I need you to be honest with me,” she said through broken words. “I need you to tell me what you feel for me.”
His eyebrows went up. “What? What do you mean?”
She licked her lips, feeling like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. As much as she would rather run away, she needed to hear his words. She needed to know.
“I heard you on the phone earlier,” she said, trying to harder her tone. “I don’t know who you were talking to, but I overheard you.”
His shoulders sank. “Mia …”
She waved her hand again. “Please … I ...” She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. She took in the person she cared about, and she needed to just be honest. “Tharon, over the time of me being here, I’ve grown attached. And I won’t lie. I do like you. I like you a lot. And while you may not love me, you must like me enough to sleep with me.”
“Mia, I …”
“I don’t know what you feel, and you may not know what you feel either,” she said, not letting him finish his sentence. “But you feel something. And it hurt for me to hear you say those words like I wasn’t worth your time.”
He went silent for a moment, and she wiped at her eyes. “I don’t expect you to love me. We hardly know each other, and I am your nanny. But at least be honest. Be honest enough to admit you feel something.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, moving closer. “I didn’t mean it like that. I shouldn’t have said it the way I did.”
While she could tell he meant the words, she wasn’t entirely sure she could trust him.
“Just think about it,” she said, moving away from him. “Because I know what I feel, and if you don’t feel the same, please let me know. Don’t pull me along.”
She moved away and headed down the hallway before he could respond. She didn’t think she could stomach a reply.
FIFTEEN
THARON
After the recent emotional misunderstanding, Tharon started to wonder if it would be a good idea for the four of them to get out and do something as a family. After their last attempt at a family outing turned out to be so dangerous, he wasn’t so sure this would go any better. However, Clov’an was the following weekend, and it had been some time since he and the children had celebrated the holiday together.
He arrived home and found Mia cleaning the family room. “Mia … I know we haven’t been on the same page, but I was thinking. There is a festival coming up in celebration of Clov’an, and I was hoping we could go … as a family.”
“As a family, huh?” Mia was skeptical after their recent disagreement. “I thought I was crossing too many boundaries?”
“Look, I was wrong, and honestly … I don’t know how to feel. I know what my culture has taught me, and I know how I feel about you, but the two concepts clash and create an internal struggle. I hope we can figure this out together, but I would like the opportunity for us all to be together as a family and see how it feels.”
“Are you willing to forgo your cultural teachings if our family outing goes well?”
“I am willing to see how I feel during the outing and give it a chance if I feel good.”
“I suppose I could work with you on this. I don’t know if I will handle it any differently than I have been handling our time together, though. I have done nothing but act like me every time.”
“I understand, and that is really all I need from you. Thank you for giving me another opportunity to prove that I can be there for you.” Tharon excused himself to make phone calls and preparations for the following weekend.
* * *
