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“Speak a word of this to anyone and I’ll kill you.”
He groaned, nodding like an idiot.
I tossed his face away and looked at Mikhail. “Get rid of this asshole.” Then I dragged my gaze to the Italian who was looking at me with a horrified expression on his face. “It’s your turn next time I visit, and trust me, you won’t be making it out alive.”
I prodded to the kitchen to wash Aaron’s blood from my hand before walking upstairs to our bedroom. When I went inside, Giselle was on our bed, wearing a light-pink nightgown and reading a book she’d taken from my bookshelf—not mine exactly.
That bookshelf belonged to my mother, and I’d chosen to keep it after she died. I didn’t like reading very much, but whenever I missed her, I tried to dull the ache in my heart by reading one of her favorite books.
It helped sometimes, but sometimes, it made the pain even more unbearable.
Watching Giselle reading reminded me of my mother. She always rested her back against the headboard, flipping through the pages with keen interest, her eyes flowing over the words.
Recreating the image in my mind gave me sharp palpitations. I hadn’t felt that in a while, but the similarities between her and Giselle made it feel too real.
Giselle didn’t acknowledge my presence when I walked in. I took off my clothes and went in for a shower and she was still in the same position when I finished. I wore my briefs and climbed the bed, sitting beside her. “How was the prenatal?”
She stilled, blinking blankly at the book for a couple of minutes. She was reluctant to answer. “Fine.”
Her reply made my stomach twist. I didn’t like it when she was upset. “How’s the baby?”
“Fine.”
I scrutinized her face. Her hair blanketed her shoulders, and her nightgown did nothing to hide her nipples as they poked through the silky fabric, begging for my attention.
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”
She sighed, clasped the book close and shot me a furious glance. “Why? Did you do something wrong?”
She flinched and tensed when I brought my hand to her face and cupped her cheek. Something in me flipped when she was angry, and all I wanted to do was fix the uneasiness that came with her glare. “Giselle, I know a lot of this is hard for you.”
Her eyes widened as if she couldn’t believe what I’d just said.
“It’s my first time being a husband and a father. It’s also my first time caring for anyone who isn’t my brother,” I continued, peering into her brown eyes. “I may not be good at this. Scratch that. I don’t fucking deserve this—I don’t deserve you—but you’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time, and I really wish you wouldn’t hate me so much.”
The air tensed around us, her eyes sparkling with tears. “You don’t mean what you’re saying. You don’t care,” she said, voice cracking.
“I do. Maybe not in the way you’d expect a normal person to, but I do care.”
She sniffled and stared at the wall for a moment before drawing her gaze back to me. “I needed you today. It’s my first time being a wife and a mom too. I was fucking scared, and I needed you.”
My chest constricted listening to the crack in her voice. I’d been an asshole like Maxim said, a coward and because of that, I hadn’t been with her like I should have. I’d wanted to go with her but held back because I didn’t want the emotions bubbling inside me to take over.
Feelings were a vulnerability in our world. I’d tried not to become vulnerable, but I couldn’t help it with Giselle.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, I kissed her hand and squeezed it in mine. “I should have been there, and I promise to be there from now on.”
We looked into each other’s eyes, and Giselle seemed to be searching for something as she peered into my eyes. A soul maybe. Something she could hold onto in the hope that I wasn’t a monster.
A faint smile quirked her lips. “Promise?”
“Promise.” I wrapped my hand around her and hauled her close. She snuggled up to me, placing her head on my chest. I slid my fingers through her hair and inhaled her soft, feminine scent. “When is the next appointment?”
“Tomorrow.” She flickered a glance at me through her thick lashes. “Will you come? We can listen to her heartbeat together then.”
Warmth spread all over my body. Becoming a father had started to feel more real every day. I looked at Giselle’s stomach, she didn’t have a visible bump yet, and I couldn’t believe there was a baby growing in there. My baby. “Can I touch it?”
She nodded.
