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“Oh, it means something alright,” Aled said, pulling back and bringing Jamie with him. He was deeply conscious of whatever aches and strains Jamie might have as he gently led him toward the bathroom for a shower. “It means that I’m happy.”
“Oh yeah?” Jamie asked, moving a little stiffly, but smiling through his grimace.
“Yeah,” Aled said. “I feel so good that I can’t wrap my head around it.”
“Good,” Jamie said with a nod as they reached the shower and Aled turned it on. He still had his arms wrapped around Jamie for support, so it was a stretch.
As soon as the water was warm enough for them to get in, Aled moved them into the shower together and set to work washing Jamie carefully.
“This weekend was exactly what I needed,” he explained, too emotional still to feel comfortable looking at Jamie. “It’s been…rough. But you were…God, I don’t even know how to describe it. Thank you.”
“I feel the same,” Jamie said, panting a little as he let Aled take care of him. “Really, you’re so…perfect. Everything I’ve always wanted.”
Aled kissed one of the marks he’d left on Jamie’s shoulder as he continued washing him. It was all hanging right there in the air between them. The lines that had been drawn by the rules of the weekend suddenly stood out in neon.
What’s your real name? What’s your phone number? Can I see you again?All the questions were pulsing between them. The silence that stretched on and on as they took more time than they needed in the shower grew louder and louder as the moment when they would part rushed closer.
Everything in Aled screamed at him to just ask who Jamie was and if they could start something outside of an official kink weekend. But what if he crossed that line when Jamie wanted to keep things casual? The things they’d done were really extreme. What if Jamie had reasons that he didn’t want any of those thoughts or emotions to seep into his real life?
If he tore down the wall and discovered that Jamie didn’t want him, that he had a life that prevented the two of them from even acknowledging each other, should they ever meet in public, would that be the end of everything? Would it ruin the memories they’d made? Would he be barred from ever participating in whatever kink circles Jamie might run in forever? He didn’t want to do anything that might risk him never seeing Jamie again.
“So when’s the next weekend?” he asked, trying so hard not to seem needy and vulnerable, as the two of them got dressed. Needy and vulnerable were not good looks for a dom.
Jamie shrugged, then winced, as he gingerly put on his button-down shirt. “They have them every few months. I think the next one is right before Christmas.” He sent Aled a cheeky look and said, “That one is always fun. It’s holiday themed, of course. There will be so many jokes about having your stocking stuffed or being on Santa’s naughty or nice list that you’ll spend the rest of your life groaning every time you hear one.”
“Groaning how?” Aled asked with a sly look.
“Exactly,” Jamie answered with a laugh. “And the daddies at that weekend usually end up being Santa. It’s a riot.”
“Sounds like fun,” Aled said, then rushed on to, “Will you be there?”
Jamie paused with his hands on his buttons and looked at Aled. “I haven’t decided yet,” he said. His eyes hinted that he would be there if Aled would be there.
Aled smiled. “I’ll have to see if there are any spots still available.”
Jamie’s shy, heated smile as he tilted his head down and continued doing up his buttons had Aled wishing they had time to tumble back into bed again.
But they didn’t. It would take him about three hours to drive back to London, and he’d promised Dawn he’d be home before lunch. She’d already flipped out once when he’d delayed calling her, and since they hadn’t had any contact for the past two days, he didn’t want to press his luck upsetting her now.
That didn’t stop him from dragging through the rest of getting dressed and packing up their things. Jamie hadn’t brought as much as he had and was done sooner. He lingered and watched Aled pack his bag, but Aled had the sense that he needed to get going, too.
When the moment finally came and they were standing by the cottage’s front door, Aled had to fight not to panic.
“Thanks again for everything,” he said, wishing and praying that something would happen, like an earthquake or the Apocalypse, and Jamie wouldn’t have to go. “I can honestly say that I learned so much from you and that you’ve made me a better dom.”
“You were already fabulous,” Jamie said, raising a hand to brush Aled’s cheek. “You gave me so much, and I hope I was good for you.”
“You were perfect,” Aled said with a smile. “My good boy.”
The air crackled between them as they just stood there, neither one wanting to be the first to go. But it had to be done.
Jamie drew in a deep breath, wincing a little as his back likely reminded him of the souvenirs he was taking home, then said, “Until next time, then.”
“Until next time,” Aled said, his heart breaking a little.
There was another long pause before Jamie leaned in and kissed him soundly. Aled closed his eyes and drank in the kiss. It lasted longer than kisses usually did, maybe longer than it should have. When Jamie finally stepped back, Aled opened his eyes.
Jamie smiled at him, then opened the door and stepped through, shut the door behind him, and was gone.
