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Sometimes the guilt would hit me out of nowhere, like a shadow pain of my old way of thinking, but that was few and far between.
I hadn’t felt it…well, until someone stormed out of my performance.That night marked the second month since then. I remember her well. The way her eyes drilled into me, I thought there was something there—a connection, maybe—but then she left.
She had tried to be quiet about it, even polite, I guess. But I saw it.
And it shouldn’t have bothered me… but it did.
Something else that had only been worsening my anxiety. A part of me wanted to know why she had left. Though it wasn’t the first time. The rooms had allowed people to come and go as they pleased, and it wasn’t uncommon for people to leave, but her…
I had dreams about her eyes. About the striking blue with broken pupils. In my dreams, they watched, just like that night. But in those dreams, they never faltered. They watched and watched and watched until I was begging for someone to touch me… but they never did.
Maybe that was why I had been so careless in the last few performances. She showed up a few times periodically in the last few months, but she never lingered long. It had been two weeks since I saw her last, and maybe that was what caused me to take up more performances. Riskier ones than what was typically allowed at the club. Maybe it was the need to prove myself that caused me to go out more than usual. To cause me to not watch my surroundings. Something that hadn’t happened since before the incident.
But that carelessness had almost cost me this place.
I had been asked to perform here because of the type of clientele. Apparently, many of them came from backgrounds like mine, and Ax and Sloan, the owner and head of cyber security, wanted this place to be a bit high-class for them. They wanted the performances behind the curtains and in dark rooms to make them feel safer. There were halls with both two-way and one-way mirrors that could be booked by people looking for something a bit more adventurous, but they were out of the way.
I knew what they wanted with this place, so how had I fucked up so badly that it caused someone to storm out?
I hadn’t been thinking when I walked into the club. My mind had been buzzing with thoughts of the performance and hopes that certain blue eyes would be watching me. It had been some time, but my hope never wavered.
A part of me felt bad for how easily she had caught my attention while I had still been ignoring Bailey. She had been trying nonstop to get in contact with me, and each time I came here, I ran the risk that I would see her. I tried not to dwell on it orhertoo much, but even as I walked through the club, I couldn’t ignore the buzzing of my phone.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and beelined for the dressing room, and before I knew it, I was being bent over and flogged for the crowd.
I jolted as the heavy leather flog came in contact with the meaty part of my thigh. It was a dull ache that would stick around for days after, reminding me just how good it had felt to be fucked in front of the crowds. I would hide them under my suit pants, but every time I sat down or my clothing would burst across it, I would get a burst of a delicious achy pain.
The crowds’ murmurs and whispers caused a buzz to run through me, and their eyes left trails of heat on my skin. I caught a few of them having fun on their own, only making it that much hotter.
They’re like that because of you, I reminded myself.You still have the ability to enrapture them.
My partner tonight, Gale, forced me across the bench they had set up for us, but instead of letting me look up at the ceiling as she drove into me, she had forced me to look at the crowd. To watch their reactions to me exposing myself to them in such a dirty, disturbed fashion.
They loved to see it, and I loved to show them. There was a power in it. One that was enough to remind me of the person I used to be.
Bailey hadn’t shown up since I started performing again.Thank God.There was a fight waiting to happen, but I pushed it far out of my mind.
What was important was that I was enjoying myself. That I was able to explore what my body liked in a safe and empowering environment. Bailey had been what I needed then. A taste of what a real relationship was like, but she couldn’t give me what I needed anymore. We weren’t compatible.
In the first half of the performance, I had lost count of how many times I had already come and just let Gale do whatever she wanted to do to me. It was better this way. Just to give into the pain and pleasure and take whatever came. I didn’t have to worry about anything, my partner would take care of it all and make sure I would leave this place feeling better than I had in days.
She switched from a vibrator to my clit for something a bit morecreative.Which so happened to be forcing a tentacle-shaped dildo inside my sopping pussy.
Today wasn’t nearly as painful as some of the other nights. This time, we just focused on getting me off as many times and in as many different ways as possible, only using small bits of pain to heighten the experience. And with it only being fifteen minutes in, I had to hand it to Gale, she really brought her A game tonight.
The notches on the underside of it caused it to rub so sweetly against my G-spot that I couldn’t even form the words to tell her to slow down. Not that I wanted her to. My mind was beginning to swim, and the warmth from all the orgasms started to relax my muscles in a way I desperately needed.
The anxiety of it all had been building and building until it left my muscles tense. Gale knew just how to fix it. I just needed to trust her.
I couldn’t help but look out into the crowd. Seeing what I did to people was a different type of intoxication. I took in their looks greedily, letting it feed the ego I kept locked inside during the day. I let my eyes roam over the people in the crowd until my gaze landed onher.
I recognized her from that night. Her hair was in a long, light mullet style and fell messily over her face. Her black mask hid her face from view, but I could just make out those piercing blue eyes. Her pupils were different than others, they looked like they had been ripped from the bottom and left to leak out.
She was always well put together in the suit, but in combination with her eyes, it caused her entire vibe to change. She went from refined to dangerous. There was something off-putting about the way her eyes narrowed in on me, in the way the aura around her seemed to scare off even the most distracted patrons.
So shehadcome back.
Maybe my dreams had been warning me about the moment she finally decided to come back. Preparing me for the onslaught of heat her gaze rose in me. People from all walks of life had sat in the chairs in front of me, staring at me, but none of them had caused such a reaction from me before.
