Page 54 of Don't Hate Me


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Heat crawled up my neck. I hadn’t expected to like it as much as I did. To lose myself so easily.

“I would too,” I said softly.

She pulled me back into bed, and I let her pull the covers over us once more. How long has it been since I let myself get so close to someone? Since I let them wrap their arms around me?

“Sorry I didn’t have much else,” she said. “I’m kinda clueless when it comes to clothes.”

I laid back on the pillow, looking at her. I brought the t-shirt up to my nose, inhaling deeply.

“I don’t mind,” I said. “I like that it smells like you. The shorts are a bit short, though.”

Morethan a bit short. They rode up my ass even while just lying in bed. At least her sleep shirts were oversized.

Even in the darkness, I could see the blush that coated her cheeks.

A silence fell over us.

“I’ll tell you one thing if you do,” she proposed.

No, was on the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed it.

“You first.”

She let out a light laugh and turned to look up at the ceiling. When I did the same, only then did I realize that there were faded yet still glowing stars on the ceiling.

“I think a single mother and child lived here before me,” she whispered. “I couldn’t bring myself to bring the stars down.”

They were worn, and barley glowing, but their presence was unmistakable. It caused something to twist in my chest. We were never allowed something like this back in the guild. Especially if it’s something that could give away our existence in the night.

Our bunks were bare. Every single one the same drab grey colors. No posters or tack marks allowed to be left behind.

Erasing us completely.

“A bit of a sign that someone came before you,” I murmured, knowing the feeling all too well.

Since starting under Rolf, I have yet to stay in one place for longer than a few months, with the exception of the house I occupy now. Every time I did my sweeps of the place for bugs, I would take special note of the wear and tear of the house. I couldn’t leave any signs of my existence, but that didn’t stop me from taking not of others’.

I imagined what the people before me did. How they lived. If the apartment smelled clean and flowery. I would imagine the plants they must have kept in there. Scratches on the wall? Maybe a pup got too excited when the owner came home.

It reminded me that people had actual lives to live, even when mine felt like a never-ending job.

“And that maybe someone will remember that I came before as well.”

Her words caused an ache in my chest that I couldn’t identify. No one could know that I had come before. My apartment was completely redone each time, leaving no trace of who I was.

No one would be left to remember me.

“Is that your thing?” I asked, swallowing the knot in my throat.

Another light laugh followed.

“My thing is that you probably noticed my medication in the bathroom,” she said. “I used to suffer from anxiety attacks, and whenever I would feel one coming on, I would take a pill.”

“But it’s full,” I noted, and I wished I hadn’t.

“I hadn’t had one in a while,” she said. “But before I say anything else, it’s your turn.”

My turn?I never expected to be in this situation, so I didn’t have anything prepared. My backstory for this job wasn’t well thought out because I was being forced to use my real name, so it would cause problems if I tried to make it up as I went.

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