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Then I look down into the bowl again. I do not believe in tea reading, although I know that a wise woman named Kiara does tea readings in the human settlement. The image of the wolf has disappeared from the tincture bowl, and all that is left is a few drops of water and a few small, broken leaves.
I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything,I think to myself as I remember the wolf’s head that showed up very clearly in the bottom of the bowl.
But maybe it is a sign.
I get out a scrubbing brush and some medicinal soap that I made, and I start to scrub up the blood that Kian has left behind.
It is on days like these that I wished I lived closer to the settlement, or even in the settlement. Because at least I could have asked Kiara what the tea leaves mean.
Once I finish scrubbing, I stand in the doorway and watch as Safira plays with some of Kira’s pups.Maybe once Kian has recovered, I should let him leave. Just to maintain peace in the pack. But what if change will only happen if Kian stays?
9
KIAN
I’m just beginning to practice my knife exercises when she walks back into the cabin.
It feels good to practice with the knife again. I can tell my muscles have been weakened, both by my initial injuries and then by the five days I’ve spent in this bed doing nothing but recovering. But they still remember all the moves of blocking and striking I’ve taught myself. The quick stab, the twist of the knife in the wound. The eviscerating blow.
Amara crosses her arms and watches me. It’s impossible to read what’s going on behind those strange wolf eyes. I hope that she can see at least a glimmer of the warrior I used to be. As she watches, I push myself, making each stab a little faster, a little more lethal.
“You should be careful about that,” she says. “Push yourself too far, you’ll tear your muscles.”
“I’ve had enough of holding back!” I snarl, making a slash in her direction.
As if to punish me for my anger, I feel something pulling too far from my shoulder muscle, followed by an incandescent pain that almost makes me drop the knife.
Immediately, she rushes over to her collection of herbs and salves. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
I sit back down on the bed and wince. She comes over to me and gently applies an ointment. It feels cool on my skin, and the pain begins to ease.
“Don’t bother yourself,” I tell her as she continues to rub the ointment in. “It was my own mistake. I can suffer the pain of it.”
She looks puzzled. “You have funny ideas about being sick.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re always trying to rush yourself to heal faster than your body is ready to. Sickness is a time of rest. But you push yourself harder when you’re not well than when you are.”
There’s something to her words. Then again, it’s been five days. Any orc clan would have left me behind to starve if I were unwell for that long among them. They certainly wouldn’t pause to care for me even further.
But of course, if I were in an orc clan, I would have a cause to fight for. I would know who the enemy is, and there would be a plan to defeat them. Instead, all I have is healing. A soft bed, warm food, and this woman, always watching me with her wolf eyes.
She’s certainly not weak. I could see that when she took on that wolf that was attacking me. And yet she isn’t like any warrior I’ve ever known.
Not that I can remember any of them.
“I’m sorry,” I manage. “I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me. It’s just…”
She watches me in that careful, unreadable way. “Just what?”
“It’s just that I can’t stand being useless!” I tense my muscles and immediately feel the pain in my shoulder again. “I’m a warrior! I’m supposed to be out there fighting! I’m supposed to be standing for my cause! I’m supposed to be… Well, never mind.”
“Never mind what?”
“It doesn’t matter. Just a foolish thought.”
She takes her hands off my shoulder. “Say it. Whatever it was.”
