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That The Mother ismymother.
How could she know? The Mother doesn’t exist outside of the world of the handful of women she brainwashes for the masters. Steeped in shadows, lurking below the surface, she’s seen only on video chat. Never in person.
Until the auction.
I haven’t seen her in fourteen years.
And I don’t plan to see her ever again.
Talking about her with Paigelynn, painful and sickening as it is, gives me useful information I can use against The Mother.
So I ask.
“Why would The Mother yell at you?”
Paigelynn eyes her bite seriously. “Because I stole.” Guilty eyes meet mine.
“Stole?”
She tears up. “I – I was hungry. One of my former bodyguards, Guido, had a stash of these little chocolate candies. They had peanut butter in them. They were more like protein bars. Like half-size. Very much similar to the one we ate in that stolen car.” Her eyes plead with me to forgive her. “They didn’t have any chemicals in them. Not a single one. I did not pollute my body.”
“Paigelynn.”
“I am sorry!” she gasps, her voice going high with anguish. “I just – I was fourteen. My body changed so much, so fast. Hunger gnawed at me, even after I ate all of my daily allotment. The Mother said I gained too much weight.”
I know her measurements.
I also know how The Mother thinks.
“You were a size zero.”
“Yes. Yes, but – but – my waist was a bit thick.”
“I doubt that.”
“Cam,” she sobs, pushing the lasagna away. “I shouldn’t - shouldn’t have done it, but I found the bars hidden in the bathroom, under a box of light bulbs. Guido must have put them there for his own reasons. I don’t know. I ate one once, and it was so good. I slept well that night.”
“Jesus.”
“I know! I should never have done it. I was bad. Very bad. So impure.”
I can’t stand hearing her talk like this.
It’s the kind of shit Mira was told. Shaming her for being hungry. For growing. For needing calories.
For being human.
“You did nothing wrong.” I reach for her hand and hold it in mine. It’s ice-cold, and her lower lip trembles as fat tears roll out from her lower lids. “Not one damn thing. Hunger is biological. We are organisms. Our bodies are systems designed to optimize. You were going through a growth spurt and needed more calories. Let me guess – you were tired all the time?”
“Yes.”
“Your period began.”
She blinked hard. “Yes. Right around that time.”
“And your brain raced?”
“Yes. So much.”
