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I went too far.
Paigelynn rushes at me, her mouth on mine before I can blink, my hands on her waist, salty tears tickling my lips. My tongue slips into a game with hers, where we tease and play, but there’s a ferocity to her touch, a desperate anger that rises up in me, too.
You can tell too many truths at a time. It leaves you raw and gasping.
“Fuck me,” she groans against my ear. “Ruin me, Cam. Make it so they don’t want me.”
CHAPTERFIFTEEN
Paigelynn
I didn’t know I could lose every fiber of my soul and enjoy it.
Every ticking second of it as time consumes me.
Cam’s words don’t make sense and yet the picture he’s painting does. Rudy tried to take liberties with me. Makiah stripped me bare. The Mother’s constant warning that men are incapable of self-control and that it is my job to be modest so they do not degrade me is true of everyone but Cam.
He has the opportunity.
And yet he has done nothing but kiss me.
Lesser men would have tried something more, but he is above them.
And of all the men in the world I would give my innocence to, I want him.
And only him.
Because being spoiled could save my life.
He tastes so good as I press against him, my hand on his waist, his in my hair, along the curve of my backside, fingertips gliding along my skin like they’re made of fire. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I reach between us and fumble for his erection. That’s when he pulls back and stops.
We’re breathing hard, panting like dogs in heat, eyes locked.
“Did you just ask me to fuck you?”
“Yes.”
“You want me to take your virginity?”
“Yes.”
“Because you think if I do, you’ll be spoiled goods and no one will want you after this?”
“I’m being kept pure for a reason, aren’t I?”
He takes a few deep breaths, watching me, eyes blinking rapidly as if he’s assessing my every move.
Finally, he says, “Yes.”
“And if I’ve been ‘spoiled,’ I’m of no value.”
He winces. “In a sense, yes. Not in reality, but in their delusional world – yes.”
I press myself against him again. This time, his hands don’t wrap around me, but instead go up, as if I’m holding him at gunpoint.
“Then sleep with me.” I kiss his neck, wondering if I’m doing it right. My hand has no idea what to do, but I try rubbing it between his legs. “If you sleep with me, they’ll leave me alone.”
“You really know how to make a guy feel attractive.”
