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It just says, Shore. Tonight. Eight.
Clarity hits me between the eyes, the feeling so intense it’s tangible. I pinch the bridge of my nose as if a mosquito just stung me.
“No. I do have to talk. I’m here because even I know this is destabilizing. I love Lindsay more than life itself and I’m afraid I’m fucking this up already.”
She glances at the newspaper. “I see.”
“That punch got me fired. Harry Bosworth took me off the case protecting Lindsay. We were just getting closer again,” I say, my voice filled with regret.
“Intimately close?” Her voice is so neutral she might as well be screaming. The dichotomy makes no sense, but nothing makes sense right now.
“Yes.”
“And how was that?”
I shoot her a speculative look. “I’m not a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.”
She laughs, the sound genuine. I’ve surprised her. “I’m not looking for lurid details, Drew. I’m asking about your psychological health.”
“What does sex have to do with that?”
Her turn to give me an incredulous look.
My laugh surprises me. It’s deep and rough, and sounds like it’s coming from outside my body. “Sex was good. Great, actually. Especially when she doesn’t steal my gun afterwards.”
Peering intently, Salma asks, “Is that a euphemism for something sexual?”
“I wish.”
Her eyebrows go up.
“It’s a long story.”
“You booked two hours.” Her comment comes with a small smile.
I give her one back and cross my arms over my chest. I’m playing games. I shouldn’t. The mess with Lindsay is a tornado filled with flaming pieces of my soul, my career, my life. All of it spirals, pushed by forces beyond my control. I hate it.
I hate not being in charge.
But I’m here because it’s the right place for me to be. Paulson nudged me, and being fired was all I needed to call and get in with Salma.
I’m here.
I should be productive with my time.
“I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t important,” I start.
“Of course. Reconnecting with Lindsay is important.”
“And destabilizing,” I add.
“You’ve used that word twice now,” Salma notes.
I shrug. “You introduced me to it. It’s a good word. Fits how I feel.”
She nods and stays silent.
“Four years ago,” I start, my mouth going dry. I cough, clearing it. “Those bastards drugged me. Made me watch. And then...”
