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This is what invisible shields sound like when they give way.
Chapter 14
Drew
She squeezes my hand.
Her mouth tightens as her shoulders relax, her legs sinking into the mattress, her body releasing some pent-up tension I didn’t know she had. Her eyes won’t leave my face and that little sound she just made is the best form of I love you that I’ve ever heard.
She’s looking at me, really looking. I sense a change in her. A part of me gives a victory shout, except it ricochets in my heart, coming out as a thin tremor in my hand, excitement filling me.
Lindsay is coming home.
To me.
“You didn’t fail,” she whispers. “I did. I failed.”
“Oh, baby, no. No, no, you were a goddamn warrior. Always have been.”
She squeezes my hand. A thousand angels sing in my head.
But there’s only one angel on earth – and she’s talking to me.
“I don’t know how to be,” she confesses. Emotion overwhelms me. I know that feeling.
“You don’t have to be any specific way. Just let it all unroll in due course.” Having her look at me, talk to me – it’s sweet glory. I control my breathing because if I don’t, I’ll start gasping like I’m running the last mile of a marathon.
“Drew,” she whispers, looking at me like my soul is hanging out of my body, “it hurts.”
I look at her shoulder. “I know. I should have tackled him before the gun went off, but -- ”
“Not that. Being. Being hurts.”
“Not being hurts more. Because if you decide not to be, Lindsay, then they won.”
She frowns.
“Every second feels like eternity.” She’s confessing. I’m honored.
“I know. I remember.”
She gives me a sharp look, her brown eyes narrowing. “You remember? You felt it, too?”
“The black hole.”
“It’s worse than that,” she admits. “Like -- ” Her heart rate shoots up suddenly, spiking. The machine behind me starts to beep.
“Hey, hey,” I soothe.
“Too much,” she whispers, her voice filled with anxiety. “It’s too much.”
Without hesitating, I stand up, still holding her hand, and stretch out on the narrow foot or so of mattress space at the edge of the bed. She’s shivering, but she doesn’t tense. Doesn’t freeze. Doesn’t push me away.
In fact, Lindsay curls into me as much as she can, given her immobilized shoulder. Her good hand goes on my chest, finding my heart.
Like it’s a guide for her own beat to follow.
Instantly, the sensors stop their crazy chatter. Lindsay’s breathing settles, her eyes closed.
