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“ -- you are crazy! Lindsay, you get right back here now. This makes it abundantly clear that you need psychiatric help! Who runs off and gets married like this? Only an unstable, traumatized woman who has been manipulated by her -- ”
“Hi Mom!” I chirp, waving with my good hand, moving slowly so she sees the rings. “Thank you so much for your blessing.” I grin, nice and wide, ignoring my split lip.
Drew giggles.
Giggles.
“Do you have any idea what this is going to look like when the press gets wind of it? Drew was just painted as your unstable ex-boyfriend who stalked you after your father made the error of hiring him for you security team! The press is still getting all the details wrong, and -- ”
“Monica.” Daddy’s in the room, I see, behind Mom’s fiery head. “Monica, let someone else speak.”
“Like who? Lindsay’s babbling nonsense and pretending her betrayal is just fine. My God, Harry, this is a PR nightmare! The only reason someone would run off and get married in Vegas – VEGAS – like this is if they’re crazy, or if they – OH MY GOD!” Mom moans, swooning. “You didn’t have to get married, did you?”
“What does that mean?” Drew asks.
“LINDSAY!” Mom screams. “ARE YOU PREGNANT? DID YOU RUN OFF AND GET MARRIED BECAUSE YOU HAD TO? BECAUSE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH.”
I’m dumbfounded.
Mom has robbed me of speech.
Daddy’s face appears as Mom recedes, mumbling to herself. I see they’re in Daddy’s office at The Grove, to-go trays littering the small table by his desk. He looks haggard and tired.
“Sweetie, are you? Pregnant?” he asks.
“No,” I answer honestly. “I’m not.” I open my mouth to mention that I’ve been home from the Island for barely three weeks, so how in the hell could I be pregnant?
Mom appears again, edging Daddy out. “Well, thank GOD -- ”
Drew pulls me close. In the tiny little window on the screen, I see how we appear to them. Drew’s shirtless, my shoulders are bare other than the covers up to my armpits. I have a raging case of sex bedhead. Drew grins like a fiend.
He kisses my cheek. “But we can get right on that, Monica! Thanks for the suggestion!”
Mom looks flustered. “Get right on what?”
“You seem really eager for us to start producing grandchildren for you.” He looks at me with wide, joking eyes. “Can you imagine ‘Grandma Monica’?”
“Oh, I can imagine it, all right,” I choke back.
“Harry! Harry! Say something to them! Dear God, Harry, I’m too young to be a grandmother. And besides, if you’re going to time a grandchild during an election, there’s a protocol for this. For maximum positive press, you need to...”
Mom’s voice fades out as Daddy looks at the screen, deadpan, shaking his head.
Drew leans toward me and whispers, “I can turn this off whenever you want.”
“No. It’s okay.” I smile at Daddy, who smiles back, his eyes full of love.
“We can get this sham marriage annulled!” Mom shouts in the background. “We can undo this! For God’s sake, Harry, step in! Don’t you have anything to say to Drew?”
One corner of Daddy’s mouth tips up, and he looks at me, then Drew, eyes narrowing as he stops and really studies my new husband.
“What do you want me to say, Monica?” he asks in a weary voice, giving her an epic e
Four years ago I lost my virginity on live, streaming television.
Too bad I wasn’t awake for it.
The video went viral. Of course it would. A Senator’s daughter on camera? Wouldn’t you click “share”? Besides, that’s what three of the four guys in the video did.
