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“Nearly every day for four fucking years,” he confesses, his voice hitching at the end, deep and intense.
“Wow.”
“And I never imagined being in your childhood bed, with my security team on watch in your dad’s home, if you know what I mean.”
Ah.
“So, where did you envision this?”
He smiles and stands, searching the room for his clothes. I fish under the bedcovers and find his underwear, flinging them at his head. The cloth catches his cheek and he laughs, giving me a tsk tsk tsk look.
“A cabin on Lake Tahoe. Or a house on the ocean up in Big Sur. Something romantic, with lots of time.”
“How much time?”
“Multiple times.” He gives me a sultry grin and a half-smile that makes wild heat pool between my legs again.
“Oh,” I gasp.
I throw on my tank top. I should change my panties, but I don’t. The cold wetness reminds me of how hot things were between us. I need to know that really happened. That this isn’t just a dream.
We dress, then Drew pulls the covers back, straightening everything with military precision, until we’re clothed and snuggled in bed, spooning. He begins whispering.
“You are the only woman I’ve ever loved, Lindsay.”
I stiffen. “I find that hard to believe.”
“It’s true.”
“But you dated...you slept with...it’s been four years, Drew! You weren’t hidden away in a mental institution like some people.”
“Love, Lindsay. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved.”
My breath halts. I want to turn over. I want to curl into his arms and say the words. I want to turn the clock back and be the unbroken Lindsay who deserves every word he says, every touch he’s given tonight, every drop of pleasure we’ve found with each other.
But I can’t.
Instead, I freeze.
Drew senses it.
“You don’t have to say anything. This is so much to deal with. Just know that it’s not casual for me. It’s anything but. And I’m here for you. I’m here for whatever you need, whenever you need, because you’re my best friend and my true love and I’ve missed you. Not having you in my life has been like losing a limb that no one can see is missing.”
That makes me break my paralysis and turn over.
I touch his face and search his eyes for lies.
There are none.
And then I weep.
He holds me in his arms until I fade away into the bliss of nothingness.
Chapter 40
I wake up in a cold sweat.
Only this time, Drew’s right here with me, arms already around my waist, his chest warming my back. His thighs press into the curve of my ass and I breathe, slowing my tempo, willing myself back to calm.
