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I can’t grab his hand and drink at the same time, so I hurry. Not holding his hand makes me feel weightless.
Like I’ll drift back off.
I don’t want that.
A gnawing sensation grows inside me. The room feels big, cold, impossibly empty and clinical. I check my body again. Clothed in a hospital gown, my bad shoulder bare but bandaged.
Bedsheets and blankets cover the rest of me.
The nightmares leave me naked and bereft, the line between reality and dream so thin, so fragile.
Drew’s strong hand takes mine without comment.
The gnawing abates.
Dr. Higgs seems troubled by my words, the pensive look on his face remaining. “You’re twenty-two, yes?”
“Twenty-three next week,” Drew adds. He swallows, then smiles. “We’ll have to celebrate in a special way.”
Too much.
Too much to imagine. The room starts to spin, my emotions turning an invisible wheel around and around, like I’m a merry-go-round and his words are a source of power.
“Sorry,” he adds in a low voice, squeezing my hand. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Is it that obvious?” I ask.
“Your face turned the color of milk when I said that.”
“I can’t think about anything but the next few seconds.”
“Got it.”
The way he says it makes me believe him.
Dr. Higgs scribbles a few more notes, then gives me an evaluative look, a sigh of contemplation escaping. He crosses his arms, the chart still in his left hand, and he looks at me.
“Lindsay, we have a full psych eval scheduled for you tomorrow. We didn’t know when you would start to communicate, so...”
“It’s fine,” I say. I don’t look at him. “I can talk to them.”
This pleases him.
For a moment, I feel like I’m talking to Stacia. I cringe at the thought.
“Good.” He smiles. “Welcome back.”
Welcome back.
He leaves. Drew lays down next to me again, this time on his side, his hand caressing my face. I let him.
I like it.
But it’s so hard to look at him. Intensity radiates out from those sharp brown eyes, gone to a deep, rich chocolate swirling with emotion. I know he’s spent eight days holding back.
I’ve spent eight days finding my way back.
“If this is too much -- ”
