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“Skid, what’s happening?” Addison looks as though she can barely breathe and all I can do is wrap her up tight in my arms and hold her.
“I hate you! I hate you!” Her sister’s voice echoes down the corridor, and I do the only thing I can do and drag my girl outta there.
One week later
“This is such a special time for you, you should be resting.” I look down at the beautiful, baby girl in my arms and can’t help wondering if the baby I’m carrying is a girl or a boy. Then I immediately feel guilty for thinking like that when my sister is suffering.
“Rest is overrated.” Gracie smiles at me as she takes a sip of her coffee. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed caffeine.”
“Can you give it to me straight, no bullshit?” I hand the baby girl back to Brax, who’s been standing over me and practically breathing down my neck the whole time I've been holding his little girl.
“Brax, why don’t you take Eloise for a walk outside?” Gracie smiles up at him while Skid moves to sit on the couch beside me, taking my hand in his like he knows what she’s going to say isn’t good.
“I’ve spoken to Everleigh a few times, and I’ve also spoken to her doctor. The hospital isn’t ready to release her yet but when they are, she has to have somewhere safe to go and will need regular counseling.”
“Well, of course, she has somewhere safe. She has us.” I haven’t seen my sister since the incident at the hospital. The doctors thought it best that I stay away. Jasmine has been making regular visits to check in with her and as grateful as I am for her helping, I hate that I can’t be there myself.
“Addison, Everleigh is making progress. She’s started to talk, not much but enough. The doctors are worried that being around you might…”
“Be a trigger,” I say the words I know she doesn’t want to.
“This isn’t a forever thing. I’m sure it can be healed. It’s only been a week and what she’s suffered is beyond what most doctors have treated. It’s going to take time and support.”
“But not from me.” I have to face up to the truth. Everleigh has been abused, she’s been pushed to the limit and all because of my sins.
“Not right now. But that doesn’t mean never. The club is gonna take care of her, pay for all her treatment, and get her the best care we can. What you need to remember is that it’s not your fault.”
“People keep saying that.” I don’t mean for the words to come out quite so snappy.
“They keep sayin’ it because it’s true,” Skid tells me.
“I’m going to work between both of you,” Gracie assures me. “I’m going to do everything I can to rebuild your relationship. But it’s gonna take time and patience.”
“Thank you.” I manage half a smile for her before I slouch back on the couch. I have no choice other than acceptance. I’m lucky to have people around me who want to help, but at the same time being useless really sucks.
“You know where I am if you need me.” Gracie gets up and sees herself out while I stare at the wall and absorb everything she just told me.
“Don’t go to that place, Addison,” Skid warns.
“What place?”
“The place where you think about what he did to her, you can’t blam—”
“I don’t blame myself,” I interrupt him. “I blame them. Abraham, my parents, all those fucked-up Elders. I blame them and I hate them and I wishIcould have been the one who fucking killed them, Skid.” I let out all the words I’ve been holding in since this happened. My outburst seems to shock him at first but he nods his head as if he understands. “I hate that I can’t help her. I feel so useless.”
“Hey, the last thing you are is useless. You're so busy takin’ care of everyone around you that sometimes I think you forget that you’ve been through hell yourself. Look at Charlie, a week ago he thought a madman was gonna kill you both. He went back to school today, he’s already sleeping in his own room.Youdid that, Addison, you gave him confidence and made him feel safe. You’ve been solid for him. Not to mention the fact you're growin’ us a baby. How can you feel useless?”
“I’m useless to her.”
“No, you’re not. She’s gonna get better, and when she does she’s gonna need you. That time may not be right now, but it’s comin’ and ya need to be strong for it.”
“I guess.” I smile.
“No guessin’ about it. You are a very special person and when she’s ready, you’re gonna make all the difference for her. Just like ya did with me, Addison. I was broken. I never thought I could be happy again, and you fixed me. You’ll fix her too, and you’ll do it without even realizin’ it because that's your way. You gotta let the club deal with this, and get yourself ready for when she needs ya.” Skid wraps me up the way he always does when he senses I need him to, and I take on what he says and pray it’s true.
* * *
“I’m headin’ into town to take these to the drop-in center.” Skid walks out of Charlie’s room with the last of the boxes that were stored in the wardrobe in there. Since we’ve moved all our stuff in, things are getting a little cramped and it will only be worse when the baby comes.
